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Author Topic: Told him I liked him and he said he is not ready for commitment or relationships

January 31, 2020, 01:29:07 AM
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Kriyah


Hi guys.....this is gonna be my first post here. And its gonna be a long one....so sorry, please bear with me!

I started liking a guy from Aug' 2019. He was my colleague. I don't know how or when or why I fell for him but as days passed, the feeling grew stronger. We worked for the same company but we were at different locations. Initially  I would restrict myself from talking too much to him and he would only talk about work related stuff. Then one day, I gathered enough courage to ask him out for a movie. He said he was going to him home-town so won't be able to make it. I staright up thought that he didn't want to extend any relationship beyond work so I just let it go, even though I was a bit hurt.
Then after a week he suddenly texted me and said that his friend was shifting to a different state and they were going to a pub to hangout, so he would like me to join them. Initially I was hesitant but I said yes and went out with him. I don't know what got into me but I could barely talk. I was almost quiet the entire time. He asked me what I did in my free time and all. He kept the conversation very basic. While dropping me off he said "I think you are really different.....I have never seen someone like you". This made me really happy.
Next week, I asked him if he would go for a movie in the weekend. He said yes. So on Friday I told him that we are going at this n this time for the movie. He said that he is busy, has to meet a friend for some work, thus we didn't go out. What bugged me is that, he knew the wntire time that we planned to go out but he chose to tell me at the last moment that too when I asked him. So I had stopped asking him out after that.
In the meatime, let me tell you guys this, he would hardly see my whatsapp status and stuff. Off late, whatever I used to put up, he would go through them all.
Then I don't know, what got into me, I asked him if he had any plans for 25th or 31st Dec'. He said that he'll see for 31st night and would let me know. I waited and waited but he never said anything. On 31st morning, he suddenly texted me and asked me how I was doing and stuff. So, I asked him what were his plans. He said that his family had come to visit him and he'll be going out with them.
So finally, after waiting for an agonizing 6 months I gathered up the courage to tell him this:

Me: Listen, I've been meaning to ask you this but didn't have enough courage and also I find your actions very confusing. I really like you but I don't know if you do. It's ok if you don't. I'd completely understand and back off.

Him: Drunk?

Me: No

Him: It feels really nice to hear something like this from a beautiful girl like you. But I'm not ready for commitment or relationships. As of now, we can share the space between us as friends but I don't see anything beyond that as of now.

Me: Okk no issues......I'm sorry I bothered you.....it won't be repeated....Bye!

Him: I hope you understand what I meant right?

Me: Yes....chill...

As I'm writing this, I can feel that he never really thought of me in any special way. But I'm finding it so hard to make my brain and heart understand this thing. I never knew that moving on from someone you never even dated could be this hard. Can someone please tell me as to how to move on from him? And at last, is there any chance that he can be mine?

As of now, I've deleted his contact and practicing strict no contact. Just wondering if there is still any chance left...!

Thank you sooo much for your help guys <3

February 01, 2020, 02:26:00 PM
Reply #1
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Kkxrina


First of all I want to start this out by saying I am very sorry for what happened to you, it's pretty unfortunate that you have found yourself in this situation. I hope you don't take offense to anything I am about to say but It's clear from what you wrote that this man has no interest in you, and him ignoring you and cancelling plans last minute is his way of letting you down easy. You are chasing him and trust me the harder you chase the faster he'll run, he already told you straight up that he is not interested and there is nothing to interpret he is simply not interested. You did good by deleting his number and you should keep his number deleted even if he decides to come back into your life. Unfortunately you confessing your feelings to him made you look very desperate. Take this as a lesson and move on with your life. There is an abundance of men in this world do not limit yourself like that, focus on you and don't chase after love because when you least expect it it will come knocking.

March 07, 2020, 12:58:22 AM
Reply #2
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samsome369


hi gal, I was in your shoes before. and here's an article that really helped me when I was struggling at the bottom.
I hope it could give you some enlightenment and inspiration like it helped me  :)

http://back.ly/Ay4dc

wish you have a great future with your loved one.

April 16, 2020, 12:04:19 PM
Reply #3
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anonymouse


Coming at it from a different angle, maybe he does just have commitment issues and ended up bottling the dates because of this. I myself suffer from anxiety over committing to anything whether it's relationships or other things, which often makes me scared to go on dates for fear of leading them on only to let them down. However, he has made it quite clear that he doesn't want a relationship so I think you're doing the right thing not talking to him to move on. Try going out and meeting new people because there's 100% other people out there for you.

April 16, 2020, 05:21:31 PM
Reply #4
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zadiel


Hi Kriyah,,
I've been at your situation too.. It was sooo hurting back then, but I tried to move on, make a new friend with guys just to keep him off my mind, and still keeping my relationship with him but not intents, just text him when I need him and sometime I talk about the news or else that maybe will make him interest to the topic, but it was infrequently.
He wasn't ready for relationship because he was canceled marriage with his ex because his ex was cheated on him and marry another guy, so he was really devastated. How could I know that? it's because I made him as my friend and I know some of his friends.

months passed by and we were at the stage of FWB for a months. And I put myself as his FWB and still trying to make a new friend with other guy (but no sleep with the guys) but I felt like I'm ready to build a serious relationship with any guy and I told him so (I also ready if he open his heart for me, but I keep it myself), so if any time I told him that I'm in a relationship and couldn't sleep with him anymore, he wouldn't shock. months passed by, and turns out he frequently ask me if I have a boyfriend, well he knew that I were close to this one guy. At this stage, I feel like he likes me back.

long story short, couple months were passed, and when I felt like it was the right moment (when he ask me for many times whether I have a boyfriend or not) I ask him back if he ready for an exclusive relationship with me : that mean I will not try to get closer to another guy and vice versa and he said yes.. even tho I still can't tell him as my BF (officially) but I've a permission to get mad at him when he text another women :D

April 29, 2020, 10:15:10 PM
Reply #5
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brianlye


Heyya, the topic of love and relationships is a hard, arduous, and even a torturous one. However, I do believe in true love and how some things that you least expect it to happen will become true. So do hold on to some Hope.

I am a writer on topics on everything under the sun and I hope to share some pointers. Head on to my blog to read the whole item as it is too long to write here! funwithlife123.wordpress.com

Here is what you gonna do!

#1: Play Hard to Get

#2: Rock His World

#3: Laugh at His Jokes

#4: Find Strength in Numbers

#5: Appeal to His Sensual Side

Hope it is helpful! Do let me know what I can do to assist in your understanding!

May 07, 2020, 10:13:46 PM
Reply #6
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wnr


Hi,

Sometimes even if it felt so right it just doesn't work. It may be hard for you to comprehend afterward. What did you do then? Message me so we can talk about it.  :)
A queen needs a king not an empire.

 

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