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Author Topic: This is new to me

December 30, 2018, 06:21:35 AM
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ari612


Okay so I've been dating a guy for a couple months, but we've liked each other a few months before we became official. He's not along the lines of guys im usually attracted to, but I also usually never date because I'm known as the good girl in school. I've always been the girlfriend to get used or that guys would use as a pawn to see how far they'd get her to go. Meanwhile, he's different. He's 3 years older than me and he's already jumped into the sex world. He has a good number for his body count and he went through a phase where he use to hook up with girls with no emotional feelings for them. However, when he did get girlfriends, he never told them he loved them. They would say it, but he would always says that it was nice to know but he didnt feel the same. I, however, told guys ive loved them knowing i didn't because i would feel awful i didnt. He's a big family person, trust means everything to him and his mom means the world to him. He's only said I love you to one girl that wasn't his mom or family. But then he met me. He's told me he loves me. Which is a very big deal because he hasn't been in a serious relationship or told another girl he's loved her since his first love. i belive him, he's proven to me over and over that he does. although i couldnt say it back right away because i needed to be sure, but i eventually knew i loved him back. now that you have a little bit of a background, lets fast-forward to christmas eve. i had told him i wanted to wait a while before i lost my virginity. but i knew myself that i wanted him to be my first. I just wasn't expecting it so soon... although we didn't have full out sex, he technically took my virgininty because he went in at all. but he stopped because i was in pain and he didn't want to hurt me.. since that's happened, i haven't stopped worrying. i have a really active mind and anxiety affects me a lot. I'm worried hes going to leave now that he has what he wanted. he tells me a lot that he wants a future with me and that he wants me to be his forever, and i believe him, but i can't stop worrying.. and because i worry it causes issues because it makes him feel bad and then i get even more worried he'll have more reasons to leave... what do i do, this is so new to me.. help?

December 30, 2018, 11:20:58 AM
Reply #1
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Tehilah27


Hi, first stop being so worried that he would leave you. Believe in yourself and know that you are worth being loved. Secondly, talk to him and explain what's going on. I believe if he truly loves you like he says he does, he will understand and will not rush you into anything until you are well and truly ready. Lastly, i will reiterate my first point, believe in yourself. Everyone wants to be with a confident person and when you act confident, it will make him believe there is more to you than he has seen and you will not have to worry about him leaving

December 30, 2018, 12:43:36 PM
Reply #2
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alymae


Believe in yourself. I can say the same. Believe that you deserve love and stop doubting yourself. Doubts have a way of destroying relationships. I honestly think that this is the biggest enemy. What's important is you love him and no matter what happens, make sure that you won't have any regrets. Lastly, love yourself.

February 28, 2019, 06:28:35 AM
Reply #3
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Flo2901


I completely understand your struggle, but you are young, and very often when we’re young, we don’t truly know our worth yet. I’m not saying this to insult you, it’s just that I know we usually build our self esteem with time and experiences. This said, a young woman who knows her worth, who stands for what she believes in and who respects herself will always be worth waiting for and loving. If your boyfriend can’t respect you, then he’s the one not worthy of you, and you should feel blessed that he walks away. So now don’t worry. The one who wants to stay will stay. If he wants to walk away, let him walk away, that means he was not for you and that you’ll find better. But for the moment, keep focused on the fact that he tells you he loves you and that his actions match his words...