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Author Topic: This guy is confusing me

April 02, 2020, 10:29:46 AM
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Hey everyone.

I need some guys’ advice on my current situation.

A few months ago I went on a date with this guy I was talking to online for about a week or less. I felt there was something different about him; he wasn’t being sleazy and constantly nagging me for a simple hookup. He wanted something long term, ‘to settle down with someone’ As he put it on our date. He would message me everyday asking how I am and genuinely getting to know me. He was honest, down to earth, and straightforward or at least seemed that way on first impression.

He was the one to ask me on a date to a restaurant at night. He was a gentleman and insisted on picking me up from home to go out to dinner. We didn’t do much besides talk and get to know each other, but honestly I had such a great night. When I first met him (I know this sounds super cheesy but this is rare for me) I felt an instant connection, words fail how he made me feel that night and how much I enjoyed our date.

Anyway he dropped me home and messaged me that night he really enjoyed our date and I asked if we could see each other again. He said he would answer the next morning as he was tired and couldnt think straight. Next morning rolled through and he messaged me asking how I was. He then sent me a long message saying that he finds me very attractive and likes my personality too. However he said that I reminded him of someone he use to date but never went into detail how. He just said that because of this he cannot see us going anywhere long term, but he is happy being friends or doing something 'casual'. I told him I don't want either as I was looking for something serious. He seemed almost disappointed and told me he was happy he got to meet me and wished me goodluck with everything.

To say I was crushed is an understatement because I genuinely believed our connection was mutual and, dating has been such a hit and miss and to finally find a decent guy I connect with was so hard. It felt like he was offering me breadcrumbs, even though he made it seem like I was a catch. I know it seems stupid to dwell on a guy I went on one date with after its been a few months since I've seen him last, but have you ever experienced meeting someone and just having this feeling that they were meant to play a significant role in your life? I've only ever felt that once before in my life.

Anyway I told my housemate about him and she said it sounds like he is ruining something good, and treating me horribly by saying Im not good enough to date, but only good enough to hook up with, which really hurts to to say the least. I've always had trouble setting my boundaries with people and asking for what i deserve from guys and I felt like I did a good job of that with him.

Anyway fast forward to now where I have caved in from the stress in my life and not being able to get him out of my head. I messaged him as a casual conversation about the current pandemic in our global world. We start talking and I say something that prompts him to ask me what type of person I think he is. I tell him I don't know since the opportunity to get to know him was cut off. I wasn't trying to date him again or anything like that, just answering his question honestly. He then went on to say fair enough and said that he has now deleted all of his dating apps as he's too busy with work and sports to have room for a relationship. I told him I wasn't asking for one and he then went on to say he knows but he just wanted to clarify. He then said he is happy to 'catch up' and 'hang out'. At this point I get the sense he is being more careful with his wording, which just makes me feel more cautious. I didn't say anything besides okay but I didn't take up his offer and we chatted for a little bit more that day and I haven't spoken to him since (these was a few weeks ago now).

I am so confused by this guy. He says he doesn't want anything serious with me because I remind him of someone he use to date and then now the reason is he's too busy for a relationship. But then he says he wants to catch up and hang out. Is he just looking for a hook up? Because I don't get any impression that he does. Or maybe I'm being naive and letting my emotions get in the way. Im so confused by these mixed signals? Can someone please help?

April 02, 2020, 03:28:49 PM
Reply #1


i am sorry to tell u this but i think he is not  serious for the relatnshp things he just want to have fling or sleep around according to his prefrences its not ur fault or lacking its jst the way he is.

April 11, 2020, 10:15:08 AM
Reply #2


If he doesnt want anything serious I wouldnt worry maybe be friends and he might change his mind

April 29, 2020, 10:17:04 PM
Reply #3


Heyya, the topic of love and relationships is a hard, arduous, and even a torturous one. However, I do believe in true love and how some things that you least expect it to happen will become true. So do hold on to some Hope.

I am a writer on topics on everything under the sun and I hope to share some pointers. Head on to my blog to read the whole item as it is too long to write here! funwithlife123.wordpress.com

Here is what you gonna do!

#1: Play Hard to Get

#2: Rock His World

#3: Laugh at His Jokes

#4: Find Strength in Numbers

#5: Appeal to His Sensual Side

Hope it is helpful! Do let me know what I can do to assist in your understanding! :)


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