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Author Topic: Should I stay or should I go?

September 21, 2019, 02:15:29 AM
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I’ve been with my SO for 12 years. I am 48 and he is 56. We both have grown children but not together. We have been together for 12 years. When we got together he was married but he cheated on his wife with me and when this was discovered she threw him out. I begged him to end it with her since he clearly wanted me, but he was too afraid. Our affair had lasted two years at the time. We eventually moved in together and we were fine and in love. He is the kind og happy go lucky kind of guy but very nice and everyone likes him because he is fun to be around. But he has another side to him also. He doesn’t do money well, he is enjoys flirting too much, he often covers up the truth (even very small things) so he won’t get in trouble. He is jealous even though he has no reason. He is a very romantic and sexual person. Fast forward. Someone just brought to my attention that he has been having affairs the last 5 years. Two long affairs that lasted over 1 year each and even having several other woman on the side for easy hook-ups. (He cheated on the other woman with other woman). The last affair was with his coworker who he tricked by saying we were over. I now know she tried to end things with him many times saying he could call her when he had changed his adr but he kept on crying his way back to her. But when he got busted and I confronted him he broke down and said he only loved me etc etc. Oh, and he gave me a std which he treated himself for but didn’t inform me even though he knew I was having problems down there. Who does that?? Well, I didn’t kick him out but basiclly put him on a leash and we are going to counselling and he is also getting help. He still works with his coworker and now I’m getting this new info that he is still trying to get under her skin. I know she has complained about this to HR. I think he is still very much in love with her even though he tells my differently. Someone from his work told me that this other woman has asked him to find a job elsewere. It seems to me that he has zero respect for me (or anyone really) and does not understand the consept about boundries. I said we can try to work things out for a year and see how it goes. I have him on a very tight leash, I put a GPS tracker on his phone and he has to call me many times a day to check in. Of course this is like living in a prision for both of us. He blames everything on sex addiction and troubles in our relationship. (I didn’t know we were having troubles, he seemed mostly happy with me). I feel like he just wants me for a comfortable home and to be taking care of him while he can run around having fun. Thoughts anyone? Kick him to the curb? He is 56, he’s been doing this his whole life, he’ll never change right?

September 21, 2019, 10:33:31 PM
Reply #1


I'd say kick him to the curb. He really sounds like he's not cut out for a one person commitment. He should either be in a poly/open relationship or just stay single.


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