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Author Topic: Self destructive behaviour

October 24, 2019, 10:48:31 AM
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I was looking to get advice on something. Ive been with my boyfriend for a couple of years and the majority of the time we are happy and everything is good. I however have a very self destructive tendency that I need to stop but I dont seem to know how.

Just a bit of a background I am a very anxious person, I worry about everything whether it be now or in the future and I overthink everything.

My bf has no patience when it comes to petty arguments. But here is a cycle of what will happen. I will bring something up that I know will cause an argument, we will argue - he gets frustrated and will say some things I deem to be horrible (never anything untrue may I add) and then I will get upset but will keep pushing and then the argument ultimately ends when he feels so much guilt for making me upset (I do massively overplay on this and say things I shouldnt) that he suggests that maybe we are better off apart.

Now I don't want that but it has come to my realisation that I push the argument to this point. Its almost like if i push him away and argue with him so much that he should hate me but then if he chooses to be with me even after that I know he loves me, which is really messed up.

Does anyone have any idea on why I do this and how I can stop!

Thanks in advance!


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