So I’ve (21,F) been hurt pretty bad by guys in the past, mostly due to my own inability to let go when I know that they’re not right for me. I’ve never been in a proper relationship but have had 2 “situationships” (if that’s what you’d call them) that I’ve been through, my longest lasting just over 9 months. The problem was that I would develop feelings for them quickly, and when I build up that courage to tell them how I feel I’d get shut down. Neither were ever ready for a relationship but when I said I should go, they wanted me to stick around. I gave in just like that, only hurting myself further.

I was essentially dumped from my most recent one and I hurt pretty bad from it, I can say it took me a long time to recover and start talking to men again.

I was doing fine on my own and then I met a guy on social media, and I took it slow knowing how I can get attached easy, I kept my options open and didn’t set eyes on only him. We talked for about 2 months before I met him. I distanced myself a bit by letting him know I was only available maybe once a week or fortnight, and that it was purely just for dinner or to go to mini golf or something. He appealed more to me as he wasn’t pushy of anything, and didn’t expect me to let him in my house on any of our first dates.

Eventually I invited him over for dinner with my housemates and we all got on well. I met his best friend and he met mine. He then went overseas for a few weeks and I found myself getting excited whenever he texts, and I in turn backed myself off a bit. He started to notice and begun telling me he missed me and wanted to come back to me. I fell for this; I let down my guard and saw him as soon as he got back. We talk everyday and I get too scared to initiate conversation, so I find he will always text me first even just to show me a funny meme he liked.

My problem here is that I’m scared because I don’t know if he is serious about me. We did have a talk in the beginning of things, and he established he was ready for something to develop if he felt it was right. Since I dropped my guard I’m starting to really like him, but I’m at the point where I could leave if he wasn’t feeling the same and maybe hurt a little, but if I stay and don’t say anything to him I’ll hurt so much more. I’ve been rejected twice and now I fear it. I am not asking him to get into a relationship with me, but I just want to know if we are on the same page.

Can anyone give me advice on what to do? I know the most logical option would be to talk to him, but even if so how would I approach that conversation? Thanks in advance.