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Author Topic: Relationship problem

May 26, 2019, 05:45:07 PM
Read 1385 times


Hi everyone, really need to understand what is happening with my relationship.
I am with me bf for 4 years and we now living together. When he moved in, we started to have more problems and arguments.
But my main problem, our sex life became strained, because I always feel that I am the one who wants/ instigates the sex.
When I bring the subject up, he says that it’s my fault of course, because I gained a bit of weight -‘now before you think I gained ton of weight and look completely different, it’s not the case, I admit, I am not as fit anymore but so is he. I know men think differently but his comments that’s it my fault makes me feel like I am not attractive anymore, like he is saying I now look the way that does not turn him on anymore and I should just accept if I want to have sex I want to instigate it and make all the effort.
Do you think that makes me want to look good to him and make him happy? It makes me feel like I am now so ugly, that he is almost doing me a favour. I feel lost and thinking that I can’t live like that.
What do you think ? Is he right to put that all on me. I also said to him, that I will try and work to get back to shape - but it may take a bit of time and him rejecting me - does not help me at all.

May 28, 2019, 10:54:48 PM
Reply #1

Laurel taylor

Sweetness of marriage is having your spouse be the same man you married ,while courtship and after marriage.we have been married for 7, but it got more interesting when he comes back home very late than usual.i decided to speak with him in order to know what has been wrong with him or where i have gone wrong.several persuasion proved abortive, this had me down at work and home.From that point i knew something was wrong,all attempt to know who he was seeing outside wasn’t successful, this got me sick and i decided to go for a divorce but my attorney needed some sought of evidence, so my friend suggested this dude THOMASHACKER15 AT GMAIL to help me hack my husbands phone. I discovered William has been cheating on me for years ! To top that he has 3 children I don’t know of.  I sent him away from my house but the children keep asking about their father. I really don’t know what to do

May 31, 2019, 09:13:08 PM
Reply #2


Hi Lonely,
He totally isn't right to tell you things like that and you should really tell him, how much it hurt you. Literally 90% of couples I know including mine grow out of shape in a long term relationship, but most of the time, this doesn't cause the sex drive to disappear. Maybe there is another problem that he's masking by making you doubt and blame yourself. Sex and attraction are important parts of a relationship and you should definitely talk about what's wrong and how can you make it better together (work out together if you think that getting in shape will resolve the issue/trying new things that he could find attractive/...).
My boyfriend made some remarks about my body (not at all meant to hurt me or tell me that he doesn't find me attractive) and he sincerely didn't understand that it could hurt me/make me insecure/anxious. I think that often men are oblivious as to how their words really can affect us.
I think you should really talk about it and I hope you will find a solution, good luck

June 02, 2019, 07:29:26 PM
Reply #3


You never want to be in a one sided relationship. Did u all try giving the move in a "trial run"? i know that sounds juvenile, but u nvr know a person until you live with them. Arguments are def a sign of a good relationship, there will be bad times just as much as good. u have to make sure that u are comfortable with yourself. when u have more self love then all the other stuff goes out the window. i think you should tell him how ur feeling as far as being rejected. the only to try and fix whats broken is communication. I know easier said than done. What helps me is writing dwn whats bothering me and then trying to get my thoughts together to talk about it. Things will get better, just try and communicate more of how he's making u feel. hope this helps

June 03, 2019, 12:30:47 PM
Reply #4


I think there is miss communication. Specially now that you are living with each other it is most important to talk to him and always tell him how you are feeling, that way he can also talk to you too, one shpuld always have the iniciative, dont ever wait for the other to do it, if you feel it ask and always talk about it.


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