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Author Topic: Questioning staying

March 24, 2019, 08:11:43 PM
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F 33 M 47 been married a few years both married once before

My spouse has depression. They are very negative and have body image issues and they push their insecurities onto me. I feel like a prize sometimes. I can’t really go places myself. Says it’s for my safety and they don’t want anything to happen. If I go too long without answering text they call. They’ve made me cry many times over the years. But I always feel like it’s my fault. They make more then me
And say I’m broke and that they have to pay for everything , but then say it’s not my fault that I make less

Their negativity is seeping into everyone once they start it doesn’t stop and I feel drained after all this time. One thing can take the day from great to bad. I’ve debated leaving before. He’s never hit me. He has issues with making me feel down. I’m getting drained.

There’s days we’re good for sure. Days he’s sweet. I’ve lost my sexual desire for him and I think it’s from his attitude. He brings me down.  If he loves me I know he does so o think it’s juat how he is. Like he has surprised me with gifts. Or at work and small gestures. So it makes me wonder. Is marriage this ?  Am I giving up too soon?

We have had sweet days  where he’s great and where I start caring them it drops with his actions. I’ve had a toxic relationship I left. Am I in it again?  Help.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2019, 10:02:37 PM by Prelude2112 »

March 26, 2019, 12:10:41 PM
Reply #1


This does not sound, healthy, has he ever considered therapy to work on himself? He might love you and all but his actions are causing you to be deeply unhappy. No one's partner is perfect, but he should not be the cause of your constant unhappiness. ' Have you expressed to him how his negativity is bringing you down? And suggested he seek help?

March 28, 2019, 08:22:24 AM
Reply #2


  I'm my experience with situations similar to this until the depression is dealt with it will continue to be a vicious cycle. Things can always work out in the end but only if both parties are willing to. If he is willing to get some help it might be worth it for you to stay but if you are already feeling that you want to go sometimes that path and mind set is hard to turn from and it would be better to just go


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