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Author Topic: Questioning my relationship

March 13, 2020, 07:49:29 PM
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Misspink


I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. Had some ups and downs, had some doubts and fights along the way but always stayed together because of love. However I started feeling really unsure about us more than ever recently. About 2 months ago I confessed to him that I've been faking orgasams and I never actualy had one with any man, should have said something earlier but I was too ashamed and afraid. And it was never a reason to break up for me because I'm 90 percent sure I wouldn't have them with someone else either. Up until that point our sex life was doing fine, he tried  to please me and I really enjoyed him trying. Even though he took what I said pretty well and didn't fight with me too much about it he has barely touched me in a sexual way since then. We have sex but that is literaly all that happens. He avoids touching me too much, going down on me is compltely off the table now. It's just kind of robotic sex with no passion anymore. And I'm kind of starting to resent him. I haven't dared to say anything yet because I know he was hurt when I told him, I think he might still be feeling insecure, but now I am too. I feel untouchable. We don't even french kiss. Just cuddles, sex with no foreplay once a week and pecks on the lips here and there. The passion is gone. I feel like he will never try to touch me again and it scares me. I really started to bottle up a lot of anger and resentment towards him. I feel there's a distance between us, so now I'm noticing other problems in our relationship as well. I started realizig that after more than 2 years I'm still not as comfortable with him as I am with my friends. I feel like I don't say a lot of the things I want to say. I feel scared he will not get my humor, he might take things the wrong way ect. With him I'm kind of soft and quiet most of the time. We do have fun and playfight and joke sometimes, but it's not the same. When I'm with him I don't raise my voice to sing along to a song like I would with friends, that kind of describes it the best. I feel like he just doesn't get me and isn't really sensitive to my needs. But not in the he doesn't try way, more in the being clueless way.
However even though this all sounds really bad I do love him very much. He has tried a lot to keep me happy in the past. I know for sure that he cares about me and loves me so much. We planned our futures together. He has no idea about the stuff going through my mind right now and I know he would never intentionaly hurt me. When I'm next to him I feel so much love, but when we're apart (which is often) and think about everything I just want to break up. But I don't have courage to do it and I'm not sure if it's what I really want.
He's my first real love and he's so comitted to me. I feel like breaking up sometimes isn't even an option. I just don't know what to do, I'm so confused and just want someone else to tell me what should I do??

March 14, 2020, 04:24:40 AM
Reply #1
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sandraparrish


I have been dating a man for seven years whom I love very much. We met while he was a medical student. We dated for two years, and when he matched into a medical residency here in Boston, we discussed our options and decided to move here together. The past five years have had hard times, especially with our busy schedules (his residency, my job and graduate school work), but overall it has been very happy and full of love. We have talked about getting married and have planned our future together in many ways. He has been through a particularly difficult two months at work, but we worked through the issues together.
sandraparrish

March 14, 2020, 07:56:33 AM
Reply #2
Offline

Alexa


If you’ve ever had a man come on SUPER STRONG one day . . .

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March 27, 2020, 08:20:22 AM
Reply #3
Offline

patrisiya


Hi,
I think you need to be yourself in this regard, because this is the most important thing. If he likes you the way you are, you will not have to remain silent. As much as you love him and want to be with him, you don't have to lose yourself just because you worry about how he would react.Not getting orgasms means you're just so with him. But this is no reason not to talk to you or to distance you from each other. It's absurd. Be yourself, because people have this ability to lose ourselves in order to please someone else.If he does not accept your jokes, does not understand you, and holds you back, then it is not for you. Because you can meet someone who looks at you like his whole world and you feel good about him.

 

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