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Author Topic: physical contact

November 16, 2019, 10:10:35 PM
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laveritamifamaleloso


Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a month and is expressing he wants to make things a bit more physical. We have cuddled and he wants me to kiss him and hold his hand all the time. (so nothing innapproiate)
I mean it's not bad but I also have a major fear of intimacy so I get unconfrtomble easily and he is incredibly understandable and many times he tells me he refrains from his instincts.
I like him a lot and think about doing those things to him and want to but it's just my anxiety you know? He is understanding of the things that I like and refrains sometimes for me so if he is asking for something small and I secretly want to do it then that's fine, right?

February 16, 2020, 08:49:12 AM
Reply #1
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Swingsandroundabouts


This is something you will probably need to work on if you want a successful relationship. Try suggesting an approach to intimacy that you will feel comfortable with.
Start with a few minutes of hand- holding etc regularly and build on it until you feel comfortable, then move on to the next level. Take a slow approach and be honest with your partner about how you feel, communication is key.

May 15, 2020, 05:21:05 AM
Reply #2
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VeroniXS


this is quite normal for couples) worry less and do more)

May 21, 2020, 08:52:22 AM
Reply #3
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tsiurkevych


There is a simple instruction https://bit.ly/2LLGbL9
how to make him want you and how to make him fall in love

May 23, 2020, 03:30:51 AM
Reply #4
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pga


Compromise and negotiate. Give yourself a deadline so you can progress.

May 23, 2020, 06:55:12 PM
Reply #5
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JayR


absolutely agree with the previous speakers, it's not necessary to do everything at once, tell him you need time and start getting used to it step by step. I'm sure you'll finally like it  ;)

May 24, 2020, 05:08:08 AM
Reply #6
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LilyPouille


I think first, never do something you know deep down you don't want to, sexuality is for the both person and in your case it's about your pleasure first and not his (for the moment). Don't feel ashamed of your fears and it's normal to not be comfortable at the beginning!

Maybe your boyfriend should try to "turn you on", with text and his words and how he kisses you and touch you (hands, your body when you two are together)(if you are comfortable about it, of course) to instaure a good ambiance for you. in fact, in your case, it's your boyfriend job to make you feel comfortable enough to have sex with him and not make you feel like you are doing something wrong by making him wait (but i understand your boyfriend, he likes you so he wants to do things with you). If he achieves making you feel comfortable with a good ambiance, then you can let your desire speak :) I guess it's having a previous ambiance of foreplay that will make it natural for both of you.

Then, about sexuality and desire, you have to talk about it with your boyfriend. Honesty is primary in a relationship. He will understand you more and you will feel listened to, and you will be more okay with sharing this experience with him. Maybe by speaking to him, you will know that your anxiety is something you need to work on for yourself!

Have a great day
Live. Just live.

 

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