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Author Topic: Partner Good Friends with Ex

October 06, 2019, 07:32:15 PM
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I have been dating my partner for a little over two years now. Everything is fine and whatnot, except for one thing. They are sociable and have quite a few friends, but one of their better friends--if not best--is their ex. They dated for about 5 years and it ended when they amicably came to the conclusion they make great friends, but not relationship partners. This is all fine and dandy, but I've had very little contact with the ex. I've met them only a few times, so my mind automatically is slightly suspicious. I don't necessarily get the vibe that they still have romantic feelings for each other, but I still feel like they treat each other more than friends. I did something very bad and regretful, but I looked through my partner's phone. They text each other "I love you friend" sometimes. Sometimes the ex will throw a heart emoticon in there too. But it bothers me, about 6 months ago my partner and I moved in together. When I looked at their phone about a month ago, they said to the ex I miss you every day, which hurt to read. We were all from FL originally but my partner and I changed scenery to GA. Also I was looking for a bill the other day and looked in a desk drawer to find old love letters from the ex from many years ago tucked below all the other random papers.

Why did my partner keep these letters? Why do they miss their ex so much? I get they are probably each other's best friend, but sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try, it isn't enough. Should I confront them about what I found? I do regret breaching the trust and reading their texts. It was wrong of me but I got a weird feeling I guess. I don't want to be second to anyone. They reassure me all the time they love me more than anyone else in the world, but in light of some evidence it doesn't feel true. For context, we're all in our late 20s. What would you do?

October 06, 2019, 08:36:08 PM
Reply #1


hello - if this bothers you and you will never be happy in that situation, just ask your partner. If she/he loves you, she/he will understand why you need to know. Just say, it will give you a peace of mind. You just need answers to all the questions in your head. Goodluck!


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