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Author Topic: On and off relationship, outlook for this please?

December 08, 2019, 07:42:15 PM
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anxiousgirl


I've known a man on and off for years online.
He lives 2 hours from me and has asked me out several times but cancelled and then been too ashamed to keep talking to me therefore our contact has been on and off.
I've always moved on with my life immadiately, forgetting about him fast, so he's the one who's always come back and for some reason i've replied to him.
I usually wouldn't bother with someone like this but I like him for some reason + to me he's just been like a fun, odd internet friend even though i've been annoyed that he's cancelled on me as well.
He's very shy, just like myself, and doesn't like social situations and gets very nervous. This is why he's cancelled on me.
On top of that he thinks i've acted cold towards him which has made him even more nervous and ultimately decided not to see me because the risk of rejection has been too high in his eyes. He's right though because he's often tried to talk romantic with me and i've ignored it completely. Maybe not super nice.

It felt good to finally talk it through and find out why he's been the way he's been and since then he's made huge effort to be more brave and go against his worries and i've made effort in the way of opening up and being warmer towards him.
We're now dating and he travels to see me when he has time.
He also texts me everday, no more on and off, and asks me about my day and supports me when it's something i'm worried about.
I find him incredibly easy to talk to which is unusual that I feel that way with someone, I even enjoy talking to him.
I am also usually afraid of confrontation but I am not afraid to confront him if needed, I just feel like I can be myself and say how I feel.

I'm worried about the outlook for this yet though considering all of the on and off that has been, and that I am coming off as too accepting for still wanting to be with him. I don't wanna get used, not that I think he's the type to use people but I have been used once in the past so nowadays i'm very careful.
He's wondered himself why i've put up with him but I cannot answer, I just like something about him that I can't explain because it's not something physical it's just a vibe or something and I feel good in his company.

December 10, 2019, 12:06:00 AM
Reply #1
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anxiousgirl


Anyone?????   ???  ???   ??? ???   ??? ??? ??? ???
 
 

 
 

 

December 10, 2019, 11:26:22 AM
Reply #2
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Captain Black


Well I think you may have found your ideal partner . If you get butterflies and feel slightly sick , possibly with excitement when you are in his company , then he is an ideal match for you . That's what dating is all about ie trying to find that very person(s).

Now the problem  is as I see it ,he may be ideal for you but are you ideal for him?  You need to find out if he feels that same way about you as it needs 2 to tango . That's what you need to find out before you progress this any further otherwise if it ends badly and he goes  off some where again  you could end up being hurt . This "hurt" will be painful because of the strong feelings you are harbouring.

So I think your are right to be cautious .

December 10, 2019, 06:44:35 PM
Reply #3
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Captain Black


Well that's good then. If you know for certain he has similar feelings for you then you can take the lead in the relationship and progress it further.Women are far more liberated these days and some do take the lead in relationships .This may be the way forward for you.

Good luck xx

 

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