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Author Topic: My boyfriend says my inexperience doesn't bother him but it obviously does...

April 01, 2019, 12:54:37 AM
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Pineapple


Let me just start out with saying that I feel EXTREMELY bad about this...my boyfriend left to run an errand and left his phone. His phone went off, I answered the call in case it was important. When i hung up I saw a notification from an app. I didn't want to snoop, but the context was kind of disheartening. The preview said "[___] replied to your post: "Dating a girl whom I was her first.." It turns out he has been asking people for advice on how to introduce me to kinks/bdsm. My bf is VERY kinky, which I've learned over the course of our relationship, but I'm very inexperienced (virgin before him). In one msg he described me as being "sexual in private but a Catholic schoolgirl in public." I'm not a huge fan of PDA...I'm very reserved and private. Also, it has started to bother me that he's had sex so much in the past, especially since he has talked about experiences with exes or hookups, which is probably why it has started to bother me. I told him and he acted fine and hasn t really talked about it. But since he has started to introduce to new things like handcuffs, all I can think about is how he has already done all of this with other girls. I don't know if it is okay for me to be bothered by this or not. He knew when we first started dating that I was a virgin and inexperienced. From what I saw, he seems annoyed and kind of judgmental about my lack of sexual experience/knowledge and that I am not into watching porn, etc. What do I do? How do I handle this situation?

April 04, 2019, 10:36:42 PM
Reply #1
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Bfcallaway


Sorry you are facing this. You are not wrong for any feelings you have of discomfort with his past or jealousy about it. I don't know how long you have been together but this difference may be too big to be worth dealing with. I only say that because I went through the same thing where i didnt have lots of experience and gradually learned he had plenty of it!  He pretended for a while to not care but started make little jabs about how  i don't dress sexy enough or try to entice him etc. I tried to tell him when he is standoffish and co planning about work and friends etc it doesn't put me in the mood to dress up sexy for him. If you like and are comfortable with everything he wants to do that  that's one thing but if you aren't you won't be able to change him and the difference will be difficult.

 

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