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Author Topic: Marriage problems

April 04, 2019, 10:25:48 PM
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Bfcallaway


I really need some objective advice because my husband of 12 years and I are really struggling. A bit of background is hat we had a rough first couple of years because I was an alcoholic (other reasons too). I have not had a drink in I years and ha e always loved him for sticking by me. We have had our ups and downs but mostly get along. Within the last couple of months I have really made an effort to get our sex life sparked up again and it has been great. It feels to me like falling in love all over again and I couldn't of been happier.
Then yesterday he mentioned that he is worried about me because I have lost a lot of weight recently. He has said this before and I took it very lightly so that it wouldn't become a big issue. Last night when he said this it started to quickly escalate to him accusing me of either being sick, on drugs or a anorexic. I'm none of these that I know of but told him I would go to the doctor to see if anything was wrong. He wouldn't drop it and brought up how he doesnt believe anyone who was an alcoholic can really get better, general distrust of me and a feeling that as I loose weight I'm less attractive to him. I was very upset and crying which made him more irritated. I told him that after the last few months being really great this all is very shocking.  The argument went all over the place. I figured after having sometime to think that he would see my side of this a bit but the next day he is more irritated than ever and saying he will never talk to me about  my health again and I should of just said I will try to put some weight on. This all makes me very angry but I stayed calm and tried to deesclate where this was headed. He was very offended by my comment that things were going so well and then this happened and I didn't expect it. As he left to go to a meeting he said he doesnt think he can get the feeling back (towards our sex life) that he had.  Part of me is trying to stay calm and just listen becuase im sick of fighting but part of me is so angry that i want to defend myself. Somethi g about all of this has taken the wind out of me and for the first time in our marriage really wondering if I should end this.

April 07, 2019, 05:45:08 PM
Reply #1
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Jane3322


Hi,

I think that he could have just said something more concerning like “hey I think we should both see what’s going on with your weight” but the comment regarding he doesn’t know if he will feel the same sexual desire towards you is terrible. I cannot imagine someone, let  alone my husband, saying something like that to me. If I were you, I would speak to him about how bad it made you feel. I would start considering moving on if it makes you feel bad. A man who really loves you will always make you feel beautiful no matter what.

 

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