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Author Topic: Is it okay for my boyfriend to be talking to girl online?

September 09, 2019, 08:34:16 AM
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Hi there,
I have been with my bf for almost 4 years this October. He plays games a lot and i have found out previously he has been talking to this girl.

I've confronted him about it and he's told me that she's like a friend in a different county who he met online from gaming 10 years ago.

At first, I didn't really think anything of it. I did let him know it made me feel a very uncomfortable and that i would prefer that he moved on from old girls he use to flirt with before our relationship however, he assured me that its just a friend.

That was a few months ago and then yesterday I was on his computer, he had left his gaming chats up and I had a snoop. Unfortunately i couldn't help myself.

It all seemed innocent, he mentioned at one point how its been 10 years since they've been talking (so i know he was telling the truth about that). She even mentioned about her boyfriend and how her boyfriend was asking her 'who's that messging you?' to which my boyfriend replied, "If my girlfriend knew i was talking to you she would probably get angry".

The part of their conversation that upset me was when she mentioned how her boyfriend stopped playing games with her and she now has no one to play with. Sadly, to which my boyfriend replied back, "If i was your boyfriend i would play WoW (which is the game) with you "

Now after seeing all that i am so upset and angry. He told me that he wasn't flirting with her...is this acceptable? Need advice please

September 13, 2019, 03:49:35 PM
Reply #1


Hi Darlin,
So to be completely honest I do not think this is something that you should worry about or put stress on your relationship over. here is why.. Their conversations are not sexually or emotionally inappropriate. I understand why it could come off bad if he says something like "if i was your boyfriend ...." but i think he really was just talking to her as a friend saying that, if that is what she wants in a relationship, she should get it. He is just expressing that himself as a boyfriend would do that for his partner and she should not accept something less. In this case his partner is YOU. not her. she also lives in another country. Its not worth ruining the trust you guys have built over the last 4 years over innocent conversations. Its okay for men to have appropriate relationships with women. Are you sure there is not something more behind why you feel this way. Do you think he gives his video games more attention than he gives you and since she is a part of that video game world its easy to project your issue with that onto her. Maybe you need to have a separate conversation with him about how you need more attention and affection from him. Because that is a whole separate issue you guys could be working together on.


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