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Author Topic: Is it cheating

December 01, 2019, 11:57:08 AM
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otis123


My husband and I went out drinking and met up with another couple. At the end of the night we was really drunk and been to three different bars.  It was almost closing time.  My husband and the wife of the other couple where up at the bar ordering more beer before closing time.  I went to the bathroom.  She was twerking all night with strangers and being a little flirty.  A song came on and like all night long while at the bar she backed up to my husband and butt up on his body and his hand was down there and he grabbed her butt.  I saw the whole thing when I came out the bathroom.  My husband looked up like a deer in headlights.  He admitted to grabbing her butt on the way home and apologized and said it was a stupid thing to do.  He down played it at first and said he drunk from the moonshine, fireball shots and beer but then recounted and admitted he was wrong.  He does not agree that it was cheating.  I say it was and I want a divorce.  We do have a past of cheating about 10 years ago he cheated on my and I cheated on him.  but we both been 100% committed since then. 

December 02, 2019, 05:08:45 AM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


My view is that whilst its wrong , I wouldn't call it cheating . Cheating IMO is having an affair or sex with another party or intention to do so  . To me this is a case of flirting gone badly wrong fuelled by alcohol and also technically Twerking is a form a dancing . So perhaps he does deserve a couple of nights in the Dawghouse and some grovelling to yourself but divorce I think is a tad OTT.

December 02, 2019, 02:09:22 PM
Reply #2
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Sophie26


You have every right to be upset. If my husband had done this, I would be angry with him. It is disrespectful, but I wouldn't call it cheating.

I would chalk this one up as a one off drunken incident. He has to now put in some work to make it up to you. To make you feel you are his one and only. However, repeated behavior like this should be treated as a warning sign. 

December 28, 2019, 12:12:47 AM
Reply #3
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puritynz


I think the definition of what happened is being unfaithful.  I never fall for the 'drinking/drunk' excuse as people know they are in a relationship even if drunk.  I think it is telling that he saw you and knew he had done wrong.  What i would be concerned of if this is my man is what else does he do when i am not around.  I have a big feeling about how disrespectful it is for 'your man' to show others and this woman that 'you' are not that important to him to be doing that with another woman.  How would he feel if he saw you doing that?  I think rather then going to divorce...push pause and feel what has happened, and can you trust him?  From my personal point of view if my man did this i know i would not get over it.  I probably wouldnt define it cheating but his intentions have been unfaithful/infidelity.  It ultimately boils down to how YOU feel and cope with the follow on from this.  Can u build trust with him again?  Was it just him being loose and silly....didnt he know you were in the room?  Is it clear that there is no connection between the 2 of them?

 

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