I am currently in a relationship that I would consider emotionally abusive. I want to leave & know it's best, but I cannot seem to leave [idk why]. Prior to this, I was with my ex & we had a good relationship. He treated me right & we were happy together; we got to the point of marriage talk. I was healthy & confident in myself [as was he]. I ultimately developed feelings for my current boyfriend [which I carry so much guilt for]. My ex & I broke up on good terms; we knew it was best. My ex told me he would wait for me - he wanted me to do what was best for me in the moment. We kept in touch when I started the new relationship & it was clear there were still feelings.

Over time, communication faded naturally from the abuse & from my decision to distance myself. The relationship isolated me & I didn't want to put him through confusion. I cared for him & felt he was better off w/out me. I wanted my ex to live his life w/out any pain. I knew what I did was not right. I haven't talked to him in a little over a year now. Being in this abusive relationship, I have been blinded & have suppressed my true feelings about him & my old friends, but I have recently had a desire to revisit the time & people of my life that made me happy.

I know 1 thing: I want to reach out to my ex AFTER I have left this relationship & worked on me. I want to apologize for everything & let him know just how much he means to me. Based on this vague summary, do you think there is a chance? Is it a bad idea?