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Author Topic: Is he really worth it?

October 05, 2019, 09:37:38 PM
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laveritamifamaleloso


So here's the thing. I am a teenager. I never had a relationship before and inherently terrified of boys because of the history with my father and uncle. Whenever a boy would like me, I would literally run out of instinct, but this boy is different, he is SO sweet, smart and driven that I actually made some actions to get closer with him, therefore, this scenario means a lot to me.

Anyways, this boy and I have both established we like each other and he said he wanted to date me but I have told him it takes me a while to get comfortable because of my family situation and he respects that. ( bare in mind at this point, we knew each other for a month.) We are now casually seeing each other and not official.

But despite his entity, I wonder if he has other intentions.

We were talking yesterday and he brought up that he liked this other girl (which I already had a gut feeling about) but anyways, he said that he feels his moral compass is off because a lot of times, he puts himself in front of everything, or that he only thinks what he could get out of the situation. This idea is translated into his many girlfriends that he told me he had because they are quick and essentially fulfill what he wants without any questioning. They are kind of ditzy girls and he described these relationships as "hot"

But he says he is fighting within himself because he has the opportunity for another "hot" relationship or one with me, something more emotional and definitely where I question him lol.

He then went on to ask me to Homecoming AGAIN and it's not like I don't want to go with him, I just hate dances with a passion and I felt I would be way too awkward (which would kill the chemistry we have) and  I have told him. In response to Homecoming, I said no thanks, yet again, and he jokingly didn't take no for an answer until he said if you don't go with me how could I say no to the other girl?

I was like if you really like this girl, fine go with her, (even though I really would HATE IT but I thought if he chooses a ditzy girl over me, he isn't worth it).

However, he kept on going back and forth with me and her but then told me he likes me more and wants to change for the better so he's willing to put in the risk of waiting for me to get comfortable because he really cherishes the more emotional and reciprocated relationship we have.

I then went on to tell him, it would then be wrong to go with this girl to the dance, even if he chose me because that would be" leading her on".

He apparently never knew that he had done, felt terrible about it and agreed that he would tell her he wasn't into her.
(Still not sure if that means not going to the dance all together but it should right? Going to dance with a girl that likes you despite telling another girl you now solely have eyes for her. Isn't it a recipe for disaster and not wrong to make me skeptical of his authenticity?)

But after this conversation, I think, if he has this thing of viewing situations only for himself, how will I truly know he won't revert back to his old ways if we start dating?

However, WE both have our faults, him, thinking too much about himself but me being frigid with affection, therefore, if he can accept my flaw, shouldn't I?
We are only late teenagers and are definitely growing into ourselves so of course, we are unmatured but is he mature enough for a genuine relationship?
I just really enjoy his company and he makes me want to be a better person. I appreciate our open conversations and he is very respectful of my fear of affection but at the same time helps me face it by slowly incorporating touch like hugging or holding hands for a short period of time. so it shows he cares?

I am just scared senseless I am either being too sensitive to his flaw and will miss out on a great opportunity or I am being too lenient and blind-eyed to his little "game."
Are those rightful fears and do you think he is worth a shot? What should I look out for?

Thank you for reading this tangent! Much appreciated:)



 





« Last Edit: October 05, 2019, 09:47:03 PM by laveritamifamaleloso »

 

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