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Author Topic: Is he being truthful or full of it?

September 14, 2018, 06:26:48 PM
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Ko05192


During the entire time I’ve known my now ex he always talked about work and his personal goals. Such as making x amount of money by the time he is 30 and getting higher within his own company he works for, starting his own company one day, and buying another house. It’s something he talked about constantly and what he felt he needed to do. As time went on in the relationship his job started to get extremely busy and require a lot more from him with longer hours and a weekends. Then he said if he’s going to be working his tail off he needs to at least take care of himself by going back to the gym and eating better. Then a week or so later he breaks up with me.

His reasoning was he doesn’t think he is ready for a serious committed relationship like he thought he was and doesn’t want one with me or anyone because he sees this as his time to really put in work at his job and it’s his opportunity he feels. He used to say he wasted a year of his life doing drugs and being dumb so he brought that up and sees this as his redemption toward working towards his goals. He said he liked me and enjoyed our time together but isn’t emotionally available and told me as soon as he knew for sure he wouldn’t be able to move forward.

Also though, a week later he went back on bumble and updated his bio and a photo saying me and my dog. Work gym diet. Trying to retire early so I can see how flat the earth is.
His sister also still likes me stuff and responds to posts of mine. She even told me recently how she thinks I deserve everything and she thinks I’m amazing.

He also told me he hasn’t been with anyone for two years relationship wise or physically before me. We dated for nearly two months before he asked me to be his girl and be exclusive and then after about 3-4 months total does this. He seemed so excited to be with me but at the same time he never really made me a priority like his career was always number one but it’s like as soon as work got busier I fell down that priority list further. I remember seeing a text from him and his sister and they were both saying how excited they were for us to be exclusive together. Just a few weeks before I met more of his family and was telling me how great he thought I was and couldn’t find anything wrong with me.

You may think why does it matter but it does to me. Ultimately I would like your guys’ opinion. And I am still continuing to move on the best I can this is just holding me back a little bit.

Also, he’s been liking my posts on Instagram and watching my stories?

September 15, 2018, 04:01:17 PM
Reply #1
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goodevening


During the entire time I’ve known my now ex he always talked about work and his personal goals. Such as making x amount of money by the time he is 30 and getting higher within his own company he works for, starting his own company one day, and buying another house. It’s something he talked about constantly and what he felt he needed to do. As time went on in the relationship his job started to get extremely busy and require a lot more from him with longer hours and a weekends. Then he said if he’s going to be working his tail off he needs to at least take care of himself by going back to the gym and eating better. Then a week or so later he breaks up with me.

His reasoning was he doesn’t think he is ready for a serious committed relationship like he thought he was and doesn’t want one with me or anyone because he sees this as his time to really put in work at his job and it’s his opportunity he feels. He used to say he wasted a year of his life doing drugs and being dumb so he brought that up and sees this as his redemption toward working towards his goals. He said he liked me and enjoyed our time together but isn’t emotionally available and told me as soon as he knew for sure he wouldn’t be able to move forward.

Also though, a week later he went back on bumble and updated his bio and a photo saying me and my dog. Work gym diet. Trying to retire early so I can see how flat the earth is.
His sister also still likes me stuff and responds to posts of mine. She even told me recently how she thinks I deserve everything and she thinks I’m amazing.

He also told me he hasn’t been with anyone for two years relationship wise or physically before me. We dated for nearly two months before he asked me to be his girl and be exclusive and then after about 3-4 months total does this. He seemed so excited to be with me but at the same time he never really made me a priority like his career was always number one but it’s like as soon as work got busier I fell down that priority list further. I remember seeing a text from him and his sister and they were both saying how excited they were for us to be exclusive together. Just a few weeks before I met more of his family and was telling me how great he thought I was and couldn’t find anything wrong with me.

You may think why does it matter but it does to me. Ultimately I would like your guys’ opinion. And I am still continuing to move on the best I can this is just holding me back a little bit.

Also, he’s been liking my posts on Instagram and watching my stories?

This is really odd, were there any problems in your relationship? I personally think that he may be using the career thing as an excuse.

I am by no means a relationship expert, you'll know more about the relationship that me of course.

Do you think he may be influenced by his friends? Is his friends in relationships?

September 15, 2018, 07:07:36 PM
Reply #2
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Ko05192


I wouldn’t say there were problems. He seemed happy with me. The only thing I will say is he always seemed to put work first. I was never top priority I mean we talked about his work a lot. Even when he was breaking up with me we had like an hour long conversation mostly about his career and goals and why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He was also a little bit selfish like we did things when he wanted to for the most part. He was definitely different from any other guy I’ve dated like he wasn’t attached to his phone and wouldn’t text me back right away like it would be a few hours at least before I would hear back. Then as time went on and his job required more and more then he started to workout and diet which took time and I just fell down the priority list even more.

I was thinking if it was for another reason like an excuse I don’t think his sister would be in contact with me like she is by responding to my posts?

September 16, 2018, 10:06:19 AM
Reply #3
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goodevening


I wouldn’t say there were problems. He seemed happy with me. The only thing I will say is he always seemed to put work first. I was never top priority I mean we talked about his work a lot. Even when he was breaking up with me we had like an hour long conversation mostly about his career and goals and why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He was also a little bit selfish like we did things when he wanted to for the most part. He was definitely different from any other guy I’ve dated like he wasn’t attached to his phone and wouldn’t text me back right away like it would be a few hours at least before I would hear back. Then as time went on and his job required more and more then he started to workout and diet which took time and I just fell down the priority list even more.

I was thinking if it was for another reason like an excuse I don’t think his sister would be in contact with me like she is by responding to my posts?

It's difficult, very difficult and it's hard to make an assumption without being in your shoes. You will ultimately know more than any of us here.

Personally, I have always put my partner before my job, and if anything, doing well at work is motivation because you want to bring home the goods for your family/partner. In order to move the relationship forward and buy a property, get married, have children etc - you need a stable career, and I find that we don't live to work, but we work to live.

What does he do for his job? How many hours does he work a week roughly?

When I genuinely

September 17, 2018, 12:08:15 AM
Reply #4
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Ko05192


When we first started dating he probably worked average 45 hours then after he got back from a vacation to japan it started to be 6 days a week sometimes and always like 10-11 hours a day. But it was like yes he was busy but he also didn’t want to nurture a relationship. I don’t know if it was me or he really just does not want a relationship because he wasn’t the most attentive to begin with but then brought me around his family to which he never does and gave me a toothbrush at his place. So I am so confused.