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Author Topic: Is he acting jealous?

June 03, 2020, 09:00:42 AM
Read 197 times


My best friend is male and we are really close, usually we talk all day, between texts and calls I hear from him all day everyday other than if we are working or busy doing something. Like friends do! Most of our communication is now by phone due to a move for a new job a few years back that put a bit of distance between us.

Recently, we were talking about the whole friends with benefits concept (not for us but in general) and he said he doesn't think friends should do that if they're really close since it'd ruin the friendship and it isn't worth it. He also said he thinks I should never do such a thing because I would end up hurt due to feelings being involved.

Anyway, the next day I was quiet for a few hours as I was seeing a friend, and I hadn't told him (not intentionally as it was a last minute plan), but when I got home and checked my phone he'd text asking if I was alright because I was quiet. I replied with I was fine and that is when the questions started: Was my phone out of battery? Had I fallen asleep? I said no but then he asked what happened so I said I was out, his reply was oh yeah? Getting a bit of action were we? I just laughed it off as he knows I don't have a boyfriend at the moment and knows I hate casual sex so I thought he was joking but he then said well you are not denying anything are you lol and another message before I had chance to reply basically saying go you. Which seemed odd, it was like he noticed he was being nosy but should sound happy for me.

The questioning seemed really unusual, he has been nosy before but nothing like that. He then started to get all nice and saying he hoped I had a good night and seemed to be replying to me really quickly for the rest of the night. Is this jealousy? Not specifically in a romantic way but just he is scared he could lose me if I start seeing someone?

June 03, 2020, 03:33:34 PM
Reply #1


Well, friendship with men and women can be hard to decript in the long run since the two people can be really close without being in a relationship.
First, I would like to say something, if you are friend with a guy or a girl, it means you are attracted to them, it can be emotionnaly, it can be with the way the think or see the world, it can be really physical. In the long run, some feelings can appear too. I'm not saying you are in love or want a relationship with your bestfriend, not at all. Relationship between men and women work if in the both sides you don't want to sleep with the person. I'm a really good believer when it comes to friendship between men and women.

You two had the friend with benefit question and he said he would not do it. It might be true with you but with somebody else it might not be true.
If you two have a really good relationship it's normal to be a little bit annoyed when the other person have a plans (which are important for you) and don't keep you posted about their lives. That's the idealistic or maybe real version of what is happening. It would mean he really is a friend and want want to know what is happening in your life in a friendly way. 
The other version is the guy is into you, but isn't honest with himself and get territorial about the people you are seeing and begin to understand that there might be competition.
Were you in a relationship before and he was your best friend at the time? How was he (your best friend)? Is it the first time, and I'm asking you very objectivly, and try to answer me with all your heart and honesty : was it the first time you felt him jaelous (or the feeling you have at the moment, where things seem ackward and don't know what to feel) ?
Live. Just live.

June 05, 2020, 12:09:31 PM
Reply #2


I don't feel like he is acting jealous, he is just being curious about where you were and why you weren't replying. Sounds a little to me like he is used to you being there all the time and doesn't like it much when you aren't.


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