Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: I did hurt badly my bf ego

April 02, 2020, 05:03:34 AM
Read 1426 times
Offline

Isabelle49


Hello my name is Isabelle. I am sorry for that terrible english but as you did guess it’s not my native language…

So Im a beautician and my hubby is an ex military and a bit macho.All is great but with the job and daily things to do I struggle to get some time with him To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. One month before the virus... What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport (im an ex ballerina) but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it…

Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. With the virus, we can’t go anymore, so a few days ago, he asked me to practice at home. We used a mat for safety and worked on the moves as in training. After one hour he challenged me in a friendly match, like for the normal session "if I dare" and he'll show me "who's the boss, it's not like dancing...".

It was the first time we have a match together. Well, I am a bit taller and i practiced ballerina during years but he outweight me and he is an ex military so im not too much confident.. ok let's try it!

We hang each other kimono and turn around. I quickly noticed the previous exercices tired him more than me. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I pin him and count to 5 (we need to pin the opponent 5 sec to win). his face was all red and while he get up. I don't know wich one of us wer the mroe surprised. I can’t hide myself from smiling.

Now he seems really focus and we start again. I still smile while he seems really serious. I pull his kimono again and got him the exact same way. On the ground I quickly wrapped my arms around his head and I block his legs with my feet. He struggle but I had a good grip so i count to 5 and win… Before I release himI whisper on his ear “ouch your ballerina got you badly this time, where is the tough soldier now?” and I kissed him in his cheek. I get up (and dance a bit to celebrate i confess) and prepare for the 3rd round but he said he didnt want anymore

Later I struggled not to have a strange silence that can sometimes happen. He says nothing and I make a monologue about housework. It seems that he doesn’t want to do judo anymore. I laugh a bit at first, asking him if it’s because I beat him, but he answers me aggressively that no, he just thinks it’s a waste of time.

I haven’t talked to him about it, but he looks different like he’s worried about something, like something is broken. I don’t know. He’s cold with me, never laughs, and seems even a bit depressed.

I didn’t want to hurt him, and now I don’t know how I can fix things. Atmosphere is now complicated with the quarantaine....

Please help.

April 05, 2020, 08:32:41 PM
Reply #1
Offline

Jj88


Definitely sit him down and have a conversation with him about it. It may be his pride is dented or perhaps it is just they other things are on his mind

Is there anything in particular that has happened recently that you think might be causing him to be worrying about something?

April 06, 2020, 04:41:37 AM
Reply #2
Offline

LilyPouille


Well, I think by beating him you did hurt your boyfriend ego. I don't really think this is your the problem honeslty. It was supposed to be an activity which braught you together. Not something to show who is more than the other.
I do think a conversation about it should be a good idea to know what's going on on his mind and why he gives you the silence treatment. Communication is primary!  ;D ;D
Live. Just live.

April 06, 2020, 08:09:36 AM
Reply #3
Offline

Isabelle49


Hello and thx all for your answers,

Today as the Last days he was saying nothing liké Hé was Sad for no reason so I asked him again to tell me what happen and if it's Cause of judo.. Hé answer no, everything is good. And even for judo Hé wants à rematch Hé was not in good Shape bla bla bla... I Saïd no it goes to far anyway who care who win? Hé insist and even propose à bet thé looser do thé house work part of other during all the rest of the confinment. Because I dont want to stay in that glacial atmosphère I finally Saïd yes... And we had à normal rest of day...

And so we'll do our "rematch today

April 06, 2020, 10:21:19 AM
Reply #4
Offline

LilyPouille


I guess your boyfriend ego did got hurt. I suppose you want to help him with it, to make him feel like a man and get over the judo thing. I say maybe try to boost his self-confidence, so he doesn't have to feel this way (like compliments, his attractivness, his accomplishments...and so on).
Keep us posted!
Live. Just live.

April 08, 2020, 09:12:11 AM
Reply #5
Offline

Isabelle49


Hello,

Just to tell u what happened next. So my hubby challenged me for a rematch on judo with a bet, the looser ll make the housework's part of the winner until the quarantaine. Finally i did accept...

So as before we set the mat and have a good warn up, then make couple of exercices and quickly he proposed me the match. The atmosphere is a bit strange like it s something serious...

It start and he show that he was serious putting a lot of intensity. We hang each other kimono, turn aorund each others. He tried to throw me I landed of my feet 4 times but the 5th he managed to do it and we fall together. He tried to pin me down but I blocked him with my legs. I struggle all I can it was tough because he outweight me so much. Finally I managed to hold his both sleeves and so I raised up my legs and catch his head with its, he direclty surrender. I congratz him, saying i ve been lucky and help him to get up. It was a great round but I ve seen in his eyes he was disappointed...

We prepare for round 2. He got the same intensity trying to throw me but he started to be tired, he mades a mistake so i counter him and he fall on the ground. I go his back so i put him in a hold and make him tap out...

I don't brag or dance or tease him like the first time. We go for the third one. I started to be tired but i noticed he was roasted... I catch his sleeve really quickly and crotch his leg. Then I lie on him blocking his legs with my feet. He struggle but I manage to catch his both wrist with my hands and I pinned him and count to 5...and win...

He was exhasuted he has sweat on the forehead (maybe time to quit smoking...)and was out of breath. I was sitting astride him and because i knew he cant go I asked him if we were done he said yes. I said so no silence during days. He said no and was a bit mad I didn't let him go so I did tease him a bit to make it laugh and showing it s no big deal.. "it s ok soldier if one day invaders come you ll use gun i ll fight barehands we are complementary!! It s ok to have a kick ass wife there is biggest problem in my life!!you know what im sure that even donald trump could loose to his wife and look at him he s the president of the world!!
I finally got a laugh from him. He said I didn't understand . He has neevr been mad at me but mad at him. He was disappointed by himself because of lack of exercices and cigaret...when he was younger he was far better.... we talked seriously about men, women and the image the society give us... I did understand his fragilness, his behaviour, his feeling... He want to train to be like how he wa before and stop smoking. I told him I help him and together we ll be better person... then I kiss him and let him go...

Since we are a couple it s one of the most serious and usefull conversation we had, and it was not in a restaurant or a normal date but by pinning him in the middle of our living room... :p I know him a lot more now.

April 08, 2020, 11:40:54 AM
Reply #6
Offline

LilyPouille


Hi Isabelle49!

I think you are completly right about the fact that he's mad at himself, at honestly that's a great thing that he doesn't blame you for it. At least now, you two can move on and knowing each other better. It's agreat thing that he and you succeed at communicating. Communication and honesty are primary in a good relationship.
Man ego are really fragile and make them open up about their weakness are really hard for anybody who tries. But now, your boyfriend knows he can open up without up judging him and see less of a man.

I wish you the very best for your relationship!

With Love, Lily

Live. Just live.

April 08, 2020, 03:44:28 PM
Reply #7
Offline

Isabelle49


Hi Isabelle49!

I think you are completly right about the fact that he's mad at himself, at honestly that's a great thing that he doesn't blame you for it. At least now, you two can move on and knowing each other better. It's agreat thing that he and you succeed at communicating. Communication and honesty are primary in a good relationship.
Man ego are really fragile and make them open up about their weakness are really hard for anybody who tries. But now, your boyfriend knows he can open up without up judging him and see less of a man.

I wish you the very best for your relationship!

With Love, Lily

Hi Isabelle49!

I think you are completly right about the fact that he's mad at himself, at honestly that's a great thing that he doesn't blame you for it. At least now, you two can move on and knowing each other better. It's agreat thing that he and you succeed at communicating. Communication and honesty are primary in a good relationship.
Man ego are really fragile and make them open up about their weakness are really hard for anybody who tries. But now, your boyfriend knows he can open up without up judging him and see less of a man.

I wish you the very best for your relationship!

With Love, Lily

Thank you so  much! It  sound almost ireal for me. We rarely(never) talk seriously about this thing. He s not the kind of showing easily his feeling in normal.

Now we'll jog and make fitness together and not as opponents. He did ask me to help him being more healthy, it's very rare when he ask me to explain/teach/show something. I blame him a bit to never have talked about that with me before.
To be sure he doesn't feel less than a man we did build an ikea desk and I let him decrypt the manual and be at the head of the operation. :) I told him I was impress because I couldnt do it myself (and i guess it s true i couldnt ).

I haven't say anything for the housework bet and i dont know if i should claim my prize. To be honest i was a bit mad he put that bet. I do so much at work and wanted me to do his part was really not appropriate. Making him do it would show him maybe what I must do everyday.


April 08, 2020, 05:20:51 PM
Reply #8
Offline

LilyPouille


Good for you if you can communicate more with him!!!!!  8) 8) 8)

For the house work, I think you should maybe tell him to help you (without being to aggressive? or with a tone which gives a order or which gives the impression he does nothing..?) and tell him that if he helps you it would mean a lot to you and you need him to help you to be less tired ? He could do task he wants too even if he does not much. I know guys with house work are really not great (depends on the guy, but mostly...) I don't know if I help you  :(

Keep us posted!
Live. Just live.

April 10, 2020, 08:15:36 AM
Reply #9
Offline

Isabelle49


Good for you if you can communicate more with him!!!!!  8) 8) 8)

For the house work, I think you should maybe tell him to help you (without being to aggressive? or with a tone which gives a order or which gives the impression he does nothing..?) and tell him that if he helps you it would mean a lot to you and you need him to help you to be less tired ? He could do task he wants too even if he does not much. I know guys with house work are really not great (depends on the guy, but mostly...) I don't know if I help you  :(

Keep us posted!

Good for you if you can communicate more with him!!!!!  8) 8) 8)

For the house work, I think you should maybe tell him to help you (without being to aggressive? or with a tone which gives a order or which gives the impression he does nothing..?) and tell him that if he helps you it would mean a lot to you and you need him to help you to be less tired ? He could do task he wants too even if he does not much. I know guys with house work are really not great (depends on the guy, but mostly...) I don't know if I help you  :(

Keep us posted!

Hello all :)  how are you? how is your quarantine?

I was still a bit mad for the fact he tried with the bet to make me do his housework part... So I asked him to do mine two times, he act like he didn't hear... So i gently remind him that he challenged me and put that stupid bet to force me to do his (very few )things and that I did beat him fair and square so it's time for him to do it!So I list what is my part: vacuum, mop, cleaing dust on furniture, cleaning the 2 bathroom with the toilets, cleaning the kitchen, cook, buy food online, washing dishes and do the laundry. His part is to wash the 2cars,  fill up the gaz (so nothing during quarantine) and deal with the garbages. I remind it i made all of this almost everyday for him since the beggining of our marriage and now, because of his bet, he'll do it all and alone until the end of the confinment and understand what i do for him! He did sulk a bit but made it, in the same time I didnt let him the choice... I realised with his weird questions that it was the first time he use a mop :p :p (dont laugh :p) i did show him and "teach" him how to use each or each product, that was cute :p

At first I thought to make him do the housework only for 3 days, just time for him to understand what I do  but it s 2 days now he does it and no need to lie I enjoy it a lot :p . For the first time since we are married I did read a book! I took a bath during 1 hour and I finally start to use all the cosmetics I had from the beauty boxes :p This is soooo good to finally get some time for me :) I feel a bit strange about it i confess because i have the feeling to abuse of the situation but in the same time he did fix the bet duration until the end of the quarantine and if he did win for sure he would tell me to do it until the last hour... I still dont know if I let the "punishment" or not

what do you think?


April 10, 2020, 11:37:34 AM
Reply #10
Offline

LilyPouille


Honestly it's a better way to enjoy doing the house cleaning as a couple. It's indeed a good way to do  something together and you enjoy doing this together!It's even better if it's funny! I think you can enjoy your free time (maybe not showing it too much  ::) ::)), you husband will understand that you needed it and maybe there will be less tension, since you are happier and a guy is happy when he knows he can make her wife feels good. What do you think?
Live. Just live.

April 10, 2020, 12:05:28 PM
Reply #11
Offline

Isabelle49


Hi,

I confess it s the first time that i thought about doing housework together as aan activity thanks for that :)

Honestly there is no tension anymore. He does what i ask and ask me to check when he finish so it's tough to stop now it's soooo good  ;D  ;D ;D

Since I did beat him he has change a bit but in a good way. He doesn t dare making any macho jokes before it was so often and few weeks ago i couldn t imagine him passing the mop... He asked me to train him admiting that i am "athletic" .

I know now he won't contest the bet and do it until i told him. I have the feeling of being honestly a b**ch abusing him in the same time I enjoy my time so much :,p

April 10, 2020, 12:53:01 PM
Reply #12
Offline

kpkaushik


Say Hello To "Make Him Worship You". . . The Astonishing Women’s Relationship

https://bit.ly/2XpUfRz


 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
1 Replies
1229 Views
Last post September 14, 2018, 06:14:21 AM
by Staff
5 Replies
1172 Views
Last post August 15, 2019, 01:41:43 PM
by 1234567
8 Replies
3071 Views
Last post November 09, 2019, 01:35:26 PM
by Brokenone
1 Replies
697 Views
Last post September 29, 2019, 08:47:05 PM
by msduplicity
0 Replies
673 Views
Last post October 01, 2019, 07:53:58 AM
by Boredom27
1 Replies
497 Views
Last post February 02, 2020, 10:20:09 AM
by Kkxrina