Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: I am afraid to love and to be loved

January 09, 2020, 02:07:31 AM
Read 122 times


I and this boy have been dating for months now. I enjoy his company immensely and we cliche, he is my best friend at the moment(cringe, I know) but he really supports me in everything I do. Last week, he told me he feels like he has the potential to love me so he going to open up in that regard, slowly over time. I got butterflies in my stomach like crazy and can't stop thinking about it when he told me this b/ I feel myself falling as well but I am so scared of investing in him b/ I am scared he will leave me and my heart would be broken. The more we get close the more I diverge from my authentic self and becoming more distant b/ I sense myself liking him A LOT and I wonder if he is just a boy saying crap. Whenever I tell him my concerns, he looks in my eyes with such concern and tells me that he would never do that etc etc and he is an amazing and considerate boyfriend, all I could ask for, but there is this voice in my head, this prevailing instinct. No matter what he says, I am still skeptical and it bothers me. However, I am a very guarded and skeptical person in general so there is a high change of over-reacting.
 Soon, we're leaving for college and our paths are quite different so if we continue to date, it would belong distant so in that regard, I am scared he would ditch me. However, we really work together and I feel if I invested, things would take off so part of me wants to invest just in case it works out. I think it most likely won't but IT COULD.  However, I don't have the guts nor the self-esteem to do so b/ I think of all my past experiences of ppl ditching me so every part of my body screams when I am 100 percent engaged. Therefore, I ponder the prevailing questions, How could I invest in him to give our relationship a true shot with the content of it possibly not working out? How can I become emotionally independent like that?


Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
1 Replies
Last post September 28, 2018, 03:07:35 PM
by goodevening
3 Replies
Last post November 20, 2018, 05:08:02 PM
by sandythecat
0 Replies
Last post April 14, 2019, 12:53:08 PM
by Ab17acd
0 Replies
Last post May 06, 2019, 05:08:08 AM
by aksam4all
0 Replies
Last post May 06, 2019, 05:15:21 AM
by aksam4all
2 Replies
Last post June 13, 2019, 05:00:32 PM
by Cutie
1 Replies
Last post May 26, 2019, 08:06:35 PM
by ny6iants
1 Replies
Last post September 02, 2019, 04:02:19 PM
by GP1984
1 Replies
Last post November 19, 2019, 11:17:56 PM
by Daffodil 77
1 Replies
Last post November 12, 2019, 01:41:30 PM
by Val
1 Replies
Last post January 02, 2020, 06:32:03 PM
by anxiousgirl
6 Replies
Last post February 04, 2020, 12:45:27 PM
by René57