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Author Topic: I (24F) came across my fiance's (27M) onlypage again

August 02, 2020, 12:17:49 AM
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retrobutterfly123


Hi all, me and my fiance got into a fight 2 days ago and now we aren't on speaking terms. We have a 1 year old daughter and I'm currently pregnant; in my 3rd trimester. We currently have been together for 6 years. During this fight, he called me useless, fat, and ugly. Not to mention, we currently have been fighting on and off and it's starting to get to me. I'm currently a student getting my Master's degree, not only I have a toddler and soon to be newborn so my stress has been pretty high. I've been crying more and having somewhat dark thoughts recently as well. But, I hold my daughter and come to a realization, she makes me want to stay and I feel really guilty due to me being pregnant with my son.
During our last fight, he threw my phone against the dresser and now my phone is shattered completely. I've moved away from my parents 3 years ago and now I can't truly communicate with them unless I ask for his phone; which I really don't want to. A few hours ago, he gave me his phone because my mom wanted to talk to me. While being on the phone with her she asked me about a package from Amazon which I had to log into by using my fiances Google Chrome; and when I went in there, I immediately shut down. I seen he had been using Onlyfans again (and yes we had conversations about this and I didn't appreciate him paying to look at other women and I felt disrespected) and he agreed with those decisions. He did this to me when I was pregnant with my firstborn as well around my 3rd trimester.
And I'm not talking about the small amount of 6-10 dollars for the subscriptions; he is spending around 40 to 50 on these women. Even though he doesn't have a job anymore due to the pandemic and is relying heavily on unemployment payments and my school loans that come in every new quarter starts.
I want to leave him. Every part of me is starting to despise him even more. However, he is a good father. He treats our daughter like a princess. Plus, I don't make any type of income, he stopped working on my car a few months back and now I rely on his car, his house, his food, his computer.. and now his phone. I feel isolated and alone. Now more upset at the fact he probably doesn't find me attractive anymore so there goes my confidence as well. To be honest I don't know what else to do. I want to give up. I already didn't like the start of my new body when I had my first kid but; pregnant again? Any advice on how to tackle this or cope? Am I overreacting with the OnlyFans? Thanks for anyone who actually took the time to read this. 
tl;dr I seen my fiance's onlyfans page again when trying to go to my amazon account on his phone because he threw my phone against a dresser and it shattered. Before I seen his onlyfans account; me and him had a fight and he called me fat and ugly. I am also pregnant; in my 3rd trimester. He has done this before when I was pregnant with our firstborn and we had an argument back then about it. He agreed with me that he wouldn't do it again because I felt disrespected. Could I be overreacting to this?

 

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