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Author Topic: How to address money secrets?

May 21, 2019, 10:14:07 PM
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winegirl123


My husband lost his job a few months before we got married. He was confident he’d find another one quickly but it has been over a year now and he’s still looking. He has family money (mostly stocks) that were passed down to him and plans to pass them down to his children one day (we don’t have kids yet). He refused to disclose the amount until we got married but now that we are married he still won’t disclose it. I’m paying practically all of the bills including mortgage (in my name only as I bought before we were married) and Association dues, health insurance, pest control and other household expenses and I’m starting to feel resentful. Our individual expenses like phone, car, etc..are still covered separately. He dips into his family funds occasionally when absolutely necessary to cover his credit card bill or etc... Is it unfair for me to expect that he dip into them to help with our finances until he starts working and contributes from his regular paycheck?

May 22, 2019, 10:47:41 PM
Reply #1
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noellek


Hey, when my dad remarried to a much younger wife, I was really hesitant at first. I feared that she would be in it only for the money.

But it turns out that they have figured out a way to split costs evenly. For example, my dad would pay for mortgage, electricity bill etc and my stepmother would pay for other bills like going out to eat, phone bills etc. There were other ways in which she could provide that money couldn't replace such as taking care of my aging grandmother (which my dad couldn't do physically).

While the monetary contributions were like 70% and 30% for my dad and stepmother respectively, the other contributions such as cooking and taking care of my grandmother really evened things out.

I would suggest that you have a talk with him and outline the things that you are able to provide monetary and non-monetary, and get to an agreement where you're both happy.

 

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