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Author Topic: Help with the fear that he is cheating or will cheat with a new housemate :(

June 04, 2019, 05:38:24 PM
Read 1289 times


First off let me apologize for how crazy this will sound.


So I've been with my bf for 5 months (4 "officially") and need help in how to trust him. At first I was apprehensive because I'm a bit older than him and thought this would mean not that much for him and didn't expect this to go as long as it has. He's told me he wants this to go somewhere and that we can move in together once he's done with school. I want to believe him, but it's hard.

Anyway my main issue is that I'm afraid he'll hurt me by cheating or that I'm really just "good enough for now girl" until he has time to actually date and find someone he can be in love with. He's told me he loves me, but I don't feel like he's in love with me which okay fine...I think I feel the same. Soo my fear of cheating is that his roommates new gf has moved in and now has been there for about 2 months. Every day I worry that they'll be alone together and something will happen. I expressed my dislike for her being there once only when she arrived and that was it so he's aware I worry but I never brought it up again. The other night he on his own started talking about she not liking him and he not liking her and started talking about how she wasn't attractive and has "no body" to her. He said the reason he got a little mad the time when I talked about her was because he thought it was unnecessary for me to think she'd go after my man. Also mentioned how he and a coworker think she's pregnant because she has "gained some weight". My bf, her, and her bf all work together which is another reason why I'm freaking out: plenty of time between work and home to build some sexual tension. He's also mentioned how she's a bitch in the past. Something about sass that men like I feel. The way he brought her up after I've said nothing else this whole time makes me a bit suspicious. Like he's trying to throw me off or something. Also the day after a party with all his/their coworkers, his friend/her bf mentioned how she was drunk the day before and she had left a dart in the yard. It was only me, my bf and him outside while they two boys chatted about the party (i was attended if that's relevant). Anyway, when he mentioned her name my bf turned away from him and he sort of let his "friendly" face act fall (? he's always talking bad about this friend he lives with) as if he was irritated/jealous? that he was talking about her. He just fake laughed a little and replied something jokey about it. The way his face looked when his friend mentioned her seemed really weird and I'm  not imagining it. Maybe there is something going on already

I don't know what to do. I seriously considered dumping him the minute I found out she moved in because I knew that I would worry all the time and I do and it's torture. But I stayed because he's offering me a future and that's appealing being the age I am and I hate to admit it (because I never wanted to), but I do think I love him although I have yet to say it back to him.

I've even considered bugging the house or something. Also, Tuesdays have always been one of our date nights since he doesn't work but he's tried cancelling the last 3 weeks. The first 2 I said ok because he seemed stressed and busy with work and school so I was fine-ish not seeing him. Last week I got upset and he said alright come over at 7 when my friend (who he goes to school with) leaves after we finish some stuff.

What should I do? What would you do? I keep telling myself to take it easy because I don't know anything for sure.

I won't bug his house. Sorry guys, I was just venting and stating all the crazy stuff I think about.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 05:41:30 PM by PandaCandy123 »

June 07, 2019, 05:20:13 PM
Reply #1


Unless you actually catch him in the act, you should not point fingers at him. This may drive him away and then you will push harder because you will think its because of her. You need to have trust in your man unless he proves not to be trustworthy.


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