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Author Topic: Help me understand this guy's behaviour

March 10, 2019, 07:07:31 AM
Read 1170 times


Hello Everyone,

I (32F) need some insights or suggestions to help me understand a situation. I work for a high tech company and use company shuttle to go work. One day I saw a guy right before I get on the shuttle and felt very attracted. I thought he was attracted as well since he started parking his car close to my car, stare at me a lot, and sit possibly to the closest seat in the shuttle sometimes next to me. Then one day I was brave enough to leave a note to his car, and asked him if he lost anything with my user name on that note. Within the internal system of the company with my user name, he could see my profile, my picture, and some extra info about me. He also could reach out to me, so he did. He sent me a message asking what I found and I said I found a key. He said most probably he did not lose anything, but a possibility is his wife's car key might be swiped out of his pocket. So I thought he gave a clear message to me and I backed off.

At the end, I felt so stupid I did that. Maybe I misunderstood/misinterpreted all of his behavior at the first place. But I still wonder how men act when they are attracted to someone even though they are attached to someone. Can they control their behavior or can't? Can they resist or can't ? I know everyone is different, and one does not fit all.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 11:13:32 PM by subjectcod »

March 12, 2019, 02:02:50 PM
Reply #1


Hi :)

This is completely normal. I think men are more visual than women. Even if a man is taken and in love, when he sees a pretty woman, he will look. However, I do respect that he is ONLY looking at you. There's nothing wrong with that-for him to tell you he has a wife is a good thing, it shows he is a man with integrity. If anything, this would make me happy to know that there are still good men out there. Also for you, to not think about this too much since he is taken.

March 18, 2019, 08:01:01 AM
Reply #2


I agree with libra_moon I’m sure he found you attractive but being he is taken and let you know ahead of time about his wife that’s just him being a good loyal man. I would be happy about his honesty and leave it at that. Think about it this way, if the roles were reversed and you were the happily married woman who loved her husband dearly but saw an attractive man, yeah you can look but you have no interest in anything else beyond that because you’re extremely happy with you’re relationship.

March 18, 2019, 09:15:50 PM
Reply #3


Can I give you a man's perspective? When men see a beautiful woman, they look. Twice. At least. Plus, I dare say the majority of.time they are not thinking of anything more than "that is a beautiful woman", if they are attached. As far as feeling stupid? Why would you feel that way? First, you never know unless you ask. Second, that guy isn't feeling stupid. You probably made his day if he realized what was happening.

March 19, 2019, 11:40:57 PM
Reply #4


Thanks everyone for your answers! Highly appreciated!

Why i felt stupid? Because, he was not only looking but seating to the closest seat next to me.  Thats the part confused me, if he was not attracted/interested why he tried to get close to me?  I was trying to understand how usually men act in similar situation. So when he mentioned his wife, I came to a conclusion that maybe he was not even aware of me, maybe I just misinterpreted his behaviours, maybe all those things were just coincidences. Thats the part made me feel stupid.

Anyway I am not working for that company anymore, so at least I am not going to see him again.


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