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Author Topic: He says he has a low sex drive but he watches porn. Only been together for 9 mon

January 24, 2019, 04:45:28 PM
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nadineblack


We've been dating for about 9 months. I'm 31 and he's 30.

Since the beginning, he claims to have a low sex drive and says that he's at his limit on the amount of times we have sex per week (2-3 times during a good week). He'll also sometimes tell me that we shouldn't have had sex because he's at his limit.

He doesn't hide the fact that he watches porn and masturbates to it. Although I don't know how often he does it.

Other than that he tells me that he loves me all the time.

Do I need to accept that he's just not that attracted to me even though maybe he does love me?

February 08, 2019, 07:08:21 PM
Reply #1
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Urbangirl53


I have the same problem with my guy. We are in our 50s and he let me know right from the start 3 years ago he is a ONCE A WEEK kind of guy..ok fine..I can work with that (sometimes) but when we skip a week and its me always initiating..it gets frustrating..and now I have discovered he looks at porn on his phone in the morning before showering for work...well now thats a different story.. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON...I wish some men would comment as to why this is happening to us!>

February 12, 2019, 06:26:09 PM
Reply #2
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JNelmondo


I wouldn't go straight to the notion that it is an attraction issue, more than it is one of porn being habit and comfort based.

At least personally, I consider sex with my partner totally separately from porn. One revolves around intimacy, the other is more of a psychological comfort zone that helps me de-stress.

I suppose what I'm saying is that the mechanical aspect of masturbation is more of mood/stress tool than it is an indicator of attraction.

Not sure if that makes sense.

Author of dubious success and the pixelated face behind the articles at the unknownbreakup.com

February 24, 2019, 09:52:01 PM
Reply #3
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Ladybug91


I agree with the last response. Sometimes I'm aroused but i dont want to be intimate. It's somewhat different because my partner and I have sex twice a day almost every day (27f 25m) but I'm certainly still attracted to my partner even though I prefer some self love sometimes. It isnt fair to feel unwanted though. Maybe you can watch porn and masterbate together.

 

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