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Author Topic: He ignores me - need advice

May 26, 2019, 07:56:20 PM
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kath121


He ignores my calls and texts when his mad or depressed what should I do? Do you think giving him space would be ideal? His birthday is coming up this week was planning on booking a weekend away to surprise him do you think that may cheer him up?

May 26, 2019, 10:37:19 PM
Reply #1
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Lonely


More you will chase him with texts and calls when he is mad - more power you will give him. Let him cool down and comeback. Send text saying that you care about him and leave him alone for a bit. If he cares about you - he will comeback

May 27, 2019, 07:18:50 PM
Reply #2
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kath121


More you will chase him with texts and calls when he is mad - more power you will give him. Let him cool down and comeback. Send text saying that you care about him and leave him alone for a bit. If he cares about you - he will comeback

I haven’t contacted him given him some space to cool down. Hopefully he will reach out. X


June 09, 2019, 05:37:46 PM
Reply #3
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kath121


So just an update on this

He seems still pretty distant towards me and not sure why - think its down to depression or something

Iv given him space and iv also told him id be here if he needs anything.

It was his birthday and where we wasnt meeting & where he was away for it I thought would be a nice idea to post a nice card and inside was a weekend away.
He hasn't told me he has it or anything. Im really not sure what to do?

I feel so sad this has happened - as it all came out of the blue - and I don't want to scare him off


Advice would be great please x x

June 12, 2019, 01:00:38 PM
Reply #4
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Yuliya


Hi Kath121! Is there any particular reason why he should be mad at you for so long? Do you remember how it happened - a conversation you had, any specific words? Does it happen often?

June 15, 2019, 11:15:47 PM
Reply #5
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kath121


Hi Kath121! Is there any particular reason why he should be mad at you for so long? Do you remember how it happened - a conversation you had, any specific words? Does it happen often?



Since beginning of may he went extremely distance on me I have seen him since but he looked very drained - basically something happened to 2 of his mates and it seemed to put him in a bad mood / depression state. He then started to ignore my calls & texts - i gave him space and i reached out to him to say im here if you need anything so iv been pretty nice


Then 1 day was his birthday and i posted his gift as he just seemed very distant so i decided to post it instead - i left it a few days and said had it arrived and he ignored me again for 2 days - then i blew and called him a cunt and lack of manners. He said due to that comment he said were finished and over. And he can never forgive me.
I said what on earth i didnt even do anything wrong - youve been so strange with me and didnt look yourself & iv been worried and you could of least told me if the gift had arrived. I said if you dont want to talk to me block my number and he said i dont need to block your number im not a child. You block mine if you dont want to talk to me.


I said can we please meet to talk i dont know whats going on. You dont seem yourself. And he just doesnt respond.
I dont know if i should just leave him to it and stop all contact? see if he returns and apoligises. My friends have seen the texts and says obv something is up and his being so rude to you for no reason. I said one rude word to him and thats it.

June 16, 2019, 02:32:46 PM
Reply #6
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Tjord


More you will chase him with texts and calls when he is mad - more power you will give him. Let him cool down and comeback. Send text saying that you care about him and leave him alone for a bit. If he cares about you - he will comeback
Whats power got to do with anything?

OP, How long often does this happen and how long does it usually last for. If it is clinical depression then there's not a whole lot you can do. Has he said its depression, is he seeking help himself?

June 16, 2019, 05:19:30 PM
Reply #7
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kath121


More you will chase him with texts and calls when he is mad - more power you will give him. Let him cool down and comeback. Send text saying that you care about him and leave him alone for a bit. If he cares about you - he will comeback
Whats power got to do with anything?

OP, How long often does this happen and how long does it usually last for. If it is clinical depression then there's not a whole lot you can do. Has he said its depression, is he seeking help himself?



He said he has suffered with depression in the past and a few of his mates have well sadly ended their lives. He had ago at me the other day saying he wasn't depressed and he was loving life. But clearly his not if one minute his on the phone to me in tears and then next his angry. I did say iv suffered with depression before and I know how it feels. Like im trying to say things nicely but he just seems to put his back up.

Iv been sending him funny videos / memes to try cheer him up anything really - im type person if someones down ill try help where I can. But theres only so much I can do. His been weird with me since may now and said were done the other day as I called him a cunt for ignoring me sending him a birthday gift. Surley this isn't right for me to be treated like that.

June 16, 2019, 08:04:24 PM
Reply #8
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Marrilia


Keep your distance, he will come to you himself

June 19, 2019, 04:34:36 PM
Reply #9
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kath121


I noticed yesterday on WhatsApp he blocked my number
And then he unblocked my number ( you can tell when the picture disappears when someone blocks you )

Why on earth is he doing that for

The guy seems to be all over the place :-\

Im feeling abit like ahh  :-\

June 19, 2019, 04:35:28 PM
Reply #10
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kath121


Keep your distance, he will come to you himself

I will do and I hope so

All very confusing all of this for me x

June 20, 2019, 09:11:44 PM
Reply #11
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amartna


I say let this guy go. there are other fish in the sea

June 22, 2019, 02:47:22 PM
Reply #12
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Gemneyes


Remember this...it will save you lots of heartache.  No need to keep beating your head against the wall.  If he wants you, he'll always let you know and you won't have to question anything.  If someone doesn't see your value, let them go, no matter how much you want to be with them.

Some people won't love you no matter what you do.
And some won't STOP loving you no matter what you do.
Go where the love is.

June 23, 2019, 07:22:38 PM
Reply #13
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kath121


as I noticed he unblocked my number on WhatsApp I left it a few days then I contacted him
hey hows everything
just like a nice text
whatever
and he red It and ignored it
so I left it then today I thought ill send a funny meme just to cheer him up and said hope youre ok just to lighten things up abit
and he blocked my number again!
Like I haven't a clue what that guys on but I really cba with the mind games - not really something you should do to someone. when all iv ever done is care about his depression state & try make him smile. I think now its beyond what I can do - and well him blocking and unblocking my number also shows his immature


June 24, 2019, 11:03:37 AM
Reply #14
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hundredaugust


I think if he's asked for space then you need to give it to him and try not to see it as anything personal. He's not deliberately ignoring you, but just needs space to think and processes things differently to you. That being said, you should let him know how it makes you feel - it's all about compromise and if the way he does something affects you negatively then you should talk it through and see if you can reach a better way of doing things without forcing one of you to go against what makes you happy.

June 24, 2019, 07:35:41 PM
Reply #15
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canadianprincess


IMO, regardless of the reasoning behind ignoring your phone calls/texts or blocking you, YOU have to make the choice as to whether or not it's something you're willing to put up with. It's not normal behavior, and one can be compassionate and regard his reasoning, but I don't think that just because you're compassionate, you should stay.

I dated someone like this (gave different reasoning for ignoring me) and he ended up cheating on me in the end. You'll have to decide what you want your rel to look like in 10 years. Are you willing to tolerate these mini breaks?

June 25, 2019, 01:17:12 PM
Reply #16
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kath121


I think if he's asked for space then you need to give it to him and try not to see it as anything personal. He's not deliberately ignoring you, but just needs space to think and processes things differently to you. That being said, you should let him know how it makes you feel - it's all about compromise and if the way he does something affects you negatively then you should talk it through and see if you can reach a better way of doing things without forcing one of you to go against what makes you happy.

He never asked for space. I asked him did he want space and he didn’t response. I gave it to him anyways because I felt it was best and just now and again check on him. But clearly that wasn’t enough. Perhaps he needs really a lot of space and re think the relationship. Blocking my number and unblocking my number I guess shows that. My numbers been blocked for 2 days now so I’m leaving him to it. I have no other means of contacting him anyways.

June 25, 2019, 01:21:50 PM
Reply #17
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kath121


IMO, regardless of the reasoning behind ignoring your phone calls/texts or blocking you, YOU have to make the choice as to whether or not it's something you're willing to put up with. It's not normal behavior, and one can be compassionate and regard his reasoning, but I don't think that just because you're compassionate, you should stay.

I dated someone like this (gave different reasoning for ignoring me) and he ended up cheating on me in the end. You'll have to decide what you want your rel to look like in 10 years. Are you willing to tolerate these mini breaks?

I completely agree. It is childish behaviour. All I ever did was try care as he went into a depression state about his mates. But then when the ignoring went further along it was just excuses like you said. It’s clear to me he doesn’t want to talk to me or have a relationship with me at the time. 

I see a tarot card reader regarding this issue aswell and she said the guy in your life is very depressed there’s nothing more you can do.


What bugs me the most is I bought him a birthday present and you know I never even got a thank you :-( it was quite pricey aswell.
Just such a lack of manners.
He Was never like this in the start of our relationship it went down hill when he got abit of depression and felt low.
But there’s no need to take it out on people you love.

His now blocked me for 2 days so god knows if he’ll unblock me or not any time soon. But I have to move on with my life and just see if he will reach out and explain and apologise for his  behaviour. As it is weird. And you’ve been in similar situation so you know how it feels.

X

 

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