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Author Topic: He has a problem with me having my own friends. Help!

January 31, 2019, 06:54:04 AM
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Sarahgrrl19


My bf and I have been together over a year and a half and in that time I haven’t really had a social life. I don’t know many people and I spend my whole weekends with him and occasional weekdays with him. He was married 20 years (he’s 25 years older than me) and I think he likes having me around. He says he really loves me. I’m not happy. I want more girl friends.

When I joined a meet up group with some single and married ladies he got jealous and said it seems like we are looking for different things. I said I just want more friends. He said we should be making friends together as a couple. He has lived in this city 2 years and I have lived here a little under 2 years but used to live here for 8 years but moved away for 4 and lost touch with a lot of people or they moved away. So he doesn’t have a ton of friends either but does have some best friends here. I don’t.

I want to go out this weekend for a couple hours to meet up with the girls from the meet up group but I’m afraid to ask him because of our last conversation. He thinks it’s wrong of me to have my own friends. I don’t know what to do. He has his own friends and when I brought that up he said I’m always welcome to join. I said it’s healthy to have our own friends. I just want a bigger social circle with support so I can talk to people if I need something. I don’t have that now and I need it. I am so confused. I don’t like feeling controlled. Should I ask to go out or just wait until they get together again? I asked already and he said no but that’s when he thought it would be all night. It’ll just be like 2 hrs. Should I just leave it be? I am just not happy with my life. I’m very lonely.


January 31, 2019, 03:54:56 PM
Reply #1
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Amelie


Hi dear Sara,
Read your story. Of course, you're right. You can go out with your friends. That's ok. That's the way how serious relations are built. Both man and woman should have their own circle of friends and own interests. Of course, you can have friends together, I mean both friends for you and him. But it's not forbidden to have more friends. You're an adult. You should be more relaxed in relations. Do not be afraid to talk about your wishes.

March 10, 2019, 07:07:08 AM
Reply #2
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fuzzy1980


Hey girl! It is completely fine to want to have a girls night, to begin with you shouldn't be asking for permission to do things that make you happy bur rather seek for support. You should talk to him about the things that make you happy. Please don't fear so much. I hope you feel better

 

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