Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: He Bailed On Our Trip

October 02, 2019, 10:38:56 AM
Read 806 times


He claims we are 100% exclusive and he is not seeing anyone else. We have been together for 7 months.

He invited me to go to Austria with him for a meeting relevant to our interests, which is actually important for his line of work. I accepted the offer, and we made plans. He was talking about it every time I saw him.

About 5 weeks ago, I noticed on Facebook that he commented on another woman's picture, writing something about how they should "really travel together ;)". She wrote something really suggestive back. I also found evidence of cheating around the same time.

I mentioned it to him, and he right away turned the blame on me and said "I bet you're also seeing other men".

We didn't talk for a few days, and then we saw each other again and worked it out. I decided to give him another chance.

I noticed that about 3 weeks ago, he stopped talking about the trip to Austria completely. I brought it up casually, asking what the plans were and if WE were still going. He seemed kind of awkward about it, as if I caught him off guard, and said "yes *I* am still going". I asked if he still wants me to go too, and he said that he did. He told me he would send me the details for the plane tickets.

He never sent me the information, so I asked again. He again asked if I still wanted to go and said he'd send the information. He didn't.

He was quite busy at the time, so I let it go and figured he'd get back to me but he didn't. I gave him almost two weeks and heard from him frequently, but he said nothing about the trip.

Two days ago I sent him a text, and I wrote "Is Austria still happening? Please let me know either way." I purposefully said "either way" to give him an easy exit to give me an excuse. He took over a day to reply, and I got this "Sorry, the plans have changed. It's off. I got a call today about an election work job and of course the training session is next weekend. Can I see you Saturday?"

The job is to run the polls for one day during our election.

There are a few reasons this cannot be true:

1. The Austria meeting is CRUCIAL for him, and way more important than a one-day position.

2. He never mentioned applying for such a job before and hasn't done it in many years. Why would they just "call" him?

3. The "training session" is on Thanksgiving weekend (Canada). That doesn't make much sense.

4. He is notoriously infamous in our city for his strong political views and for being a political activist. The man can hardly go down the street without someone being angry he is present. There is NO WAY they would allow him to run anything political or call him up to do so. They consistently deny him entry to events and deny his right to express his views. He is in the news constantly and his name is everywhere.

5. It's way too convenient that he just never mentioned it again, seemed uncomfortable when I asked, never sent flight information, and then just says "today I got a call."

What I think happened is that he invited someone to Austria in the small period of a few days that he was angry at me. Or maybe he is just mad I mentioned the Facebook comment and decided he did not want me to go. Either way, he left me hanging until *I* gave him an exit. I actually don't think he was ever going to say anything until the night before the day we were supposed to leave. Or, maybe he was just going to never say anything at all.

I find this so rude and despicable. I did not buy my plane ticket because I did not have the information, but what if I had? What if I had taken time off work? He has been so inconsiderate and doesn't even seem to think he has.

I had a few ideas in mind:

1. Just ghost him (I don't really want to do this)

2. Tell him I'm fine with going on my own to the Austria meeting anyway and see how he reacts - if he seems uncomfortable or unsure, then I can assume it is because he is going and wouldn't want me to see him there. (I could also just text this, not sure if it is better to do it in person or text it).

3. Tell him I know it's bullshit and cut ties. He will probably backpedal and throw a tantrum.

I have not replied about the Saturday meeting suggestion. I kind of think I should go with 2, and see how he reacts to that. But I'm not sure if I should text it, do it in person, or just not bother.

October 03, 2019, 01:37:44 PM
Reply #1


My 2 cents:   See him Saturday and wait until then to discuss the trip.   As women, we think differently and over analyze everything.  Men are far more simple.  If he wants to see you Saturday, wouldn't you rather talk it though with him in a meaningful way?   To Ghost him would hurt you (based on what you wrote).  I wouldn't assume he invited someone else.  If you're 7 months in, I'd take the opportunity to talk in person.   Overthinking and texting something that you really don't mean (or to test him) may push him further.  If, however, you respond that you would like to see him Saturday and you're looking forward to it - you have a nice opportunity to have the conversation face to face.  That will help you resolve it all in a much meaningful way.   Best of luck.

October 03, 2019, 02:57:34 PM
Reply #2


From what i can tell it seems you dont trust him, and for good reason! You gave him another chance and he blew it. i myself would tell you to leave him because you deserve better. It sounds like you dont want to do that. ask him to have a mature, honest conversation about the situation and that he needs to tell you whats going on. if he keeps on being defensive and one sided. Tell him you are going to leave him because he is an ass. and if he might just grab you by the leg and beg you not to leave him. haha

October 05, 2019, 04:43:14 AM
Reply #3


What I would recommend for you is to talk to him on Saturday. The most important thing you need to do is figure out the status of the relationship, is it really exclusive? Tell him what your expectations are and ask for his. I think all this misunderstanding comes from the fact that each of you has different expecations about the relationship. He doesn't seem to consider your relationship as a serious one and he doesn't seem to be commited while you are clearly committed to the relationship and want more from it. You need to get things clear with him to avoid feeling disappointed and running in circles.


Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
1 Replies
Last post September 25, 2018, 10:42:01 AM
by goodevening
0 Replies
Last post January 21, 2020, 09:12:37 AM
by everybody
0 Replies
Last post January 21, 2020, 02:59:14 PM
by everybody
1 Replies
Last post January 22, 2020, 03:25:03 PM
by loveguru26
0 Replies
Last post September 19, 2020, 09:29:21 AM
by androssarax