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Author Topic: He's perfect but i'm not into him anymore

September 08, 2019, 01:18:27 PM
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so my issue may seem a little weird...
i'm with a guy who is great in many ways. he's sweet and caring and really smart and he's a geek like me. he does everything for me and he's really in love with me.

the problem is that i'm not that into him anymore.

i think he's too emotional and not a very fun person to be around.
at first we were great and i loved him, but after a while he was all like "oh i'm afraid to lose you" and it wasn't sexy at all. he was like that for a while. we went out for three times and it wasn't fun because he seemed depressed. i even once talked about breaking up with him and he said we shouldn't rush into making this decision and that he will try to fix things. he went to psychologist and was said he may have bipolar disorder. he's under medication now. he's better.

sometimes i think i'm only with him because he helps me with stuff. it makes me feel guilty. i'm 21 and may find someone better if i wait a few years. on the other hand i fear that i'm a fool to lose such a great guy that loves me so much.

a possible scenario is i will be with him for about 9 months and then when university is over (and i probably won't wee him again) i decide about breaking up with him. but then... if i'm thinking about breaking up with him, should i do it already?

i don't know what to do.
is staying with him unfair to him?
is breaking up with him is a big mistake?

September 30, 2019, 02:27:41 AM
Reply #1


Okay, to me it seems like you are struggling with this decision a lot and I get it. I've been thinking the same thing lately, different reasons.

My advice would probably be that, you need to consider what your priorities are now. I don't mean your education or something along those lines. I mean in a relationship. Priorities and standards don't always remain the same.

At first, what drew you to him could have been the attention and affection he had towards you. However that doesn't necessarily mean he's right for you or that you love him. You might have loved that he was attracted to you. Not the person.

So, evaluate how he makes you feel. Do you care for him? Can you see being happy without him around?

Also, about the future being bleak if you keep a relationship with him. Do not doomsday scenario it. I don't know how long it will take for you to graduate, but dooming the relationship because you believe you THINK things will go a certain way, is not fair to the relationship, you or him. Live it out. If you do graduate and things do start to go as you fear, sit down with him and explain your thoughts and feelings to him.

Hope I helped! ;D

October 01, 2019, 08:36:23 AM
Reply #2


I know it seems harsh to say, but when you already have doubts at this fase in your relationship, I believe they will come back sooner or later. Even if you overcome your doubts now. The first few years in a relationship should be about wanting eachother so desperatly. You shouldn’t even be thinking about leaving him. There are lots of good men, who can be your best friend, but it is exactly that little extra “spark” that makes someone more than just a friend. Maybe he is the perfect one for another girl. You can still be friends though. Someone will cross your path who will give you no doubts (certainly in the beginning).

October 01, 2019, 05:44:43 PM
Reply #3


Funny because this is similar to what happened to me. My girl went to college this fall and i missed her and got needy and insecure. Big attraction killer. Its funny because i gave her everything she ever wanted to get her back into me but that made it worse. Now i am trying to be less available and mentally stronger. She wants a break but i am trying to be a better me and light that spark back in her.
My advice is to maybe tell him you need him to be mentally stronger and tell him what attracts you or see if he gets any better and if he doesnt realise it then you need to end it and dont let ether of you suffer through it. Just find sombody new if he doesnt realise how to gain attraction.

October 02, 2019, 10:37:13 AM
Reply #4


I think that if you are not sure about it, there is no point keeping him hanging on. It's a bad idea, because it will only hurt him in the long run. Your feelings will likely increase over time.


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