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Author Topic: Friend took off before I arrived.

December 31, 2018, 07:59:45 PM
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Flower18


I got into a big argument with my friend because his behavior hurt my feelings. He disagrees with me and said that he did nothing wrong. I would like to show him that his behavior is disrespectful and prove my point (or not. If you think that I am the one being wrong.)

Here is what happened. A few weeks ago, he told me to meet him at his work because he had to load something in my car. I met him there. We loaded the car. He was not done working so we agreed that I would go to the Goodwill that is around the corner and that he would meet me there. He came but didn't look for me. I saw him so I said hi and we both went our ways to look for stuff to buy. After about 30 minutes, I looked for him but couldn't find him. I left the store, thinking that I might find him outside. He was not there. I went to my car and saw that he sent me a message on WhatsApp telling me to meet him at the dogs park, located 5 minutes away. I started to drive to the park and received another message telling me to meet him at the Safeway. I changed direction and drove toward the Safeway. As soon as I arrived, I got another message telling me that he took off to go to my house and to meet him there. That hurt my feelings that he had me drive all over the place but couldn't wait for me to arrive. He justified his behavior by saying that he wanted to finish the concrete before it got too dried.
Then, a couple of days ago. Same happened. We agreed that I would pick him up at his place and to go to an important appointment he had at noon. We didn't set a time. At 10:45am, I was a the red light a block from his house and I checked my phone to see that he sent a message on WhatsApp to tell me that he took off because he didn't want to be late to his appointment. I called him but he didn't answer. I got mad that he didn't call before leaving. I thought it was rude and disrespectful. We had enough time to make it to his appointment on time and I never flaked on him. He doesn't understand and said that he did nothing wrong. To me, that kind of behavior tells me that he doesn't care.
I live about 30 minutes away from his house.
I would love to get insight on our situation. I got mad. He said I made a big deal out of nothing.

January 02, 2019, 07:20:03 PM
Reply #1
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goodevening


I got into a big argument with my friend because his behavior hurt my feelings. He disagrees with me and said that he did nothing wrong. I would like to show him that his behavior is disrespectful and prove my point (or not. If you think that I am the one being wrong.)

Here is what happened. A few weeks ago, he told me to meet him at his work because he had to load something in my car. I met him there. We loaded the car. He was not done working so we agreed that I would go to the Goodwill that is around the corner and that he would meet me there. He came but didn't look for me. I saw him so I said hi and we both went our ways to look for stuff to buy. After about 30 minutes, I looked for him but couldn't find him. I left the store, thinking that I might find him outside. He was not there. I went to my car and saw that he sent me a message on WhatsApp telling me to meet him at the dogs park, located 5 minutes away. I started to drive to the park and received another message telling me to meet him at the Safeway. I changed direction and drove toward the Safeway. As soon as I arrived, I got another message telling me that he took off to go to my house and to meet him there. That hurt my feelings that he had me drive all over the place but couldn't wait for me to arrive. He justified his behavior by saying that he wanted to finish the concrete before it got too dried.
Then, a couple of days ago. Same happened. We agreed that I would pick him up at his place and to go to an important appointment he had at noon. We didn't set a time. At 10:45am, I was a the red light a block from his house and I checked my phone to see that he sent a message on WhatsApp to tell me that he took off because he didn't want to be late to his appointment. I called him but he didn't answer. I got mad that he didn't call before leaving. I thought it was rude and disrespectful. We had enough time to make it to his appointment on time and I never flaked on him. He doesn't understand and said that he did nothing wrong. To me, that kind of behavior tells me that he doesn't care.
I live about 30 minutes away from his house.
I would love to get insight on our situation. I got mad. He said I made a big deal out of nothing.

Hey @Flower18

You aren't in the wrong, not in the slightest in fact he is. I wouldn't understand why he wouldn't remain in one location until you arrive and then move?

Sounds like he was messing you around or was genuinely a coincidence.

How long have you been friends with this person? Do you have a good friendship?

January 03, 2019, 04:29:43 PM
Reply #2
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Flower18


Thanks for your reply Goodevening! We have been friends for less than a year.

I know I didn't understand that either. I also didn't understand why he left the Goodwill without telling me. I have been to Goodwill many times with other friends and we usually go our separate ways to look for stuffs but we always find each other before leaving the store.

Happy new year 2019!

January 04, 2019, 04:31:22 AM
Reply #3
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Esthrala


I really think that you have the right to be upset. He left you a lot of times and I know how awful it feels. I guess he thinks that you're being petty because he hasn't been in that situation so he wouldn't get where you're coming from. If you hadn't explained him well why you're acting like that, maybe try to enlighten him more. If you have already but he still thinks that it's  not a big deal (it is for me), then maybe don't give him a ride anymore. Good riddance. Haha.
Esthrala🤓

January 07, 2019, 06:22:26 AM
Reply #4
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Aleeah420@gmail.com


You aren't in the wrong at all. Sounds like he was messing with you or something. But. I would be upset as well. Its plain disrespectful. He obviously didn't take your time in to consideration either when he's texting you back saying he is in a different location. Don't understand how he's not getting that that's wrong and should definitely apologize for it.

January 14, 2019, 04:12:07 PM
Reply #5
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shellshock283


You are definitely not making a big deal about nothing. That is common courtesy to let someone know what is going on and not to constantly change plans. Especially when you are driving from one place to another because he keeps changing his mind.

 

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