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Author Topic: Found out my partner has been hiding us

February 06, 2020, 01:02:27 AM
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kourtneyny


My partner and I have been together for 4 years and we are in our 30s. I am very much a part of his family. I am good friends with his ex and a big part of their kids lives and activities. Recently while at a birthday gathering for a female friend of his, she tried to set me up with one of her friends. She mentioned that I was too nice to be single. When I mentioned it to my partner, he admitted that he told his friends that me and him were just friends since college. He introduced to his family, his ex, and his coworkers as his fiancee but for some reason he prefers his friends to see him as single. I've been around his friends for the last 3 years and now everything is awkward. I don't know how to even handle this.

February 06, 2020, 04:27:25 AM
Reply #1
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pizzacat


It's absolutely understandable that you don't know how to handle this situation. It also seems strange though, that you say you've met his friends before and have known them for the past 3 years, but never got any hint or inclination that they thought you were just friends. Regardless though, there should be no reason for a partner to hide their significant other from anyone, that goes for monogamous relationships or otherwise.

Did you ask why he wants to be seen as single? Can you identify any other red flags or points of contention in the relationship? I would find this suspicious for sure

February 07, 2020, 03:29:11 PM
Reply #2
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kourtneyny


I did ask why he didn't tell his friends and he said that he doesn't tell his personal business to them. That he told the people that mattered. His friends just assumed that we were flirty best friends and didn't think anything else of it. I find it strange because he comes across as very close with them. I'm not close to his friends and only engage in small talk. Though now it makes sense why they would look at me strangely during some conversations.

May 31, 2020, 06:15:12 PM
Reply #3
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kocainviser


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