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Author Topic: Found out my husband lied to me

February 10, 2020, 11:32:46 PM
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Catonic


I recently figured out that my husband lied to me about his female friend. When we met he told me she was one of his best friends. I met her and he would encourage me to hang with her and she was always asking me to go out with her. I was friends with her for a short while until she lied to me about a conversation between her and my husband. It wasnt anything major but she twisted my husbands words to me and when confronted she tried to cover it up with more lies. Me and H had a few arguments about his situation as at first he just refused to see how she was in the wrong, but eventually he realised and then distanced himself from her. At present she is pretty irrelevant in our lives and me and H are very happy.

Until I came across something in my phone, which was still there from when it was H's phone. (He gave it to me when my phone broke). What I saw tells me that they spent a couple of nights together, once at her house and another at a hotel... but these dates were before he met me. H has maintained that they have always had a platonic relationship and told me they only ever go out for meals together. The night they spent out at a hotel was the new years eve a few weeks before me and H met and I remember at the time telling him what I had done for new years eve and I asked him if he had done anything for NYE to which he told me no he stayed at home.
I'm very conflicted now. I've known this information for around 2 weeks. We are very happy in our marriage and I would rather not rock the boat because like I said, for a while now he has been distant from her and they hardly speak, the last time he met with her was a few months ago. Now if things stay this way then I have no issue as I'm not concerned about what he has done before he met me. But if at any point H was to tell me that he's meeting with this 'friend' (which there is a chance might happen around his bday next month) I wouldn't accept that at all and I may end up blowing up at the time.
Do I confront him now? Or just let it be, but at the risk of this becoming a huge argument in the off chance that he arranges to meet with her in the future?
If I do confront him how should I go about it so it doesnt become an argument in which he puts up his guard and tells lies to cover it up. If he was to lie when confronted then we'd have huge problems.

 

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