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Author Topic: Fiance Traveling with Co-Worker

April 12, 2019, 08:24:22 PM
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KatrinaMoore


So I don't normally do this but I need advice on how to cope with my feelings. Forgive me for how long this will be. My fiance (we'll call him Bill) will be traveling with his female coworker (we'll call her April) next week. I don't feel okay about it. Just for context we're all in our mid to late 20s (except April).

I want to make this clear, Bill has never given me any reason to feel like he's cheating or unfaithful.

There are a few reasons I'm not okay, the first is my fiance told me his boss assigned everyone in pairs to share an office. Bill mentioned to me he'd be sharing the office with an "old lady" whose married. I didn't think much of it until he invited his coworker (we can call him Ted) over to hangout. Ted had a few drinks and bursts out "Idc what anyone says, April is smoking hot for a 30 year old!" Bill tried to silence him before he said more and looked at me. I was in shock and I said "is she now?" And laughed it off for the sake of company. I was shocked about the white lie. Bill swears up and down he said "older lady" but I know what he said. We didn't argue actually, we just.. sorta shrugged it off. I just assumed he told the white lie so I wouldn't feel anxious about him sharing an office with a pretty woman.

Bill came home with post it notes shaped like cats and said "April gave them to me!" I tried giving seaweed chips and he goes "Oh April already showed me those months ago she shares hers with me!" Or "April shared this cool candy with me" or "April already recommeded me to this show" The list can go on. I felt jealous, but not insecure of us.. just jealous that she would beat me to showing Bill something cool every time. I understand it was me feeling petty and I tried to just bury those feelings.

I brushed it off because it's silly to be jealous over a coworker being nice. I kept telling myself to be happy that he shares an office with someone he gets along with. Now the two of them will be on a plane together next week on a business trip and I can't help but rehash past thoughts and insecurities I had over her. I can't stop my mind keeps wandering to the two of them eating fomal dinners together, dressing up, sharing a car, and having fun together. Him and I rarely travel together, only once we did. It bothers me hes sharing the experiences with someone else, especially with her. I know she's married and I know I'm over reacting both in the past and now. I'm not sure how to deal with this and I don't think I can confide my feelings to him because I don't want him to leave on this trip annoyed or upset with me. Bill knows I'm freaking out internally and I'm trying not to voice an opinion on the matter because theres really nothing to say to him I'm not going to set up boundaries or force him not to eat dinner with her, it's his cowker because I feel it's not cool to do that. It's a business trip and theres no choice in the matter. He really has done everything this week to bond with me before the trip. I'm just cant help but be depressed internally over this and I keep trying to tell myself I'm over reacting.

So my question is, how can I deal with these feelings in a healthy way?

 

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