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Author Topic: Feeling confuse about my ex

August 24, 2019, 08:40:07 AM
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We date for 5 years, I'm now 28 and his 24. The first few years was amazing, he said how much he loved me and can't see a future without me. He want to grow old with me and spend the rest of our life together. However, the last 1.5 years of my relationship wasn't so great, he was flirting with other girls online which I caught and forgave, which happened twice. Then he met this girl through his sister and I can tell he was attracted to her but he told me i was delusional. during that time he also talked about how much he would spend on a wedding, asking for ring size and ask where i would move to if we moved out together. i can feel he wasn't interested in our relationship anymore, I tried so hard to reconnect with him, but not long after he broke up with me saying he doesn't love me anymore and the relationship been crap. Later I found out through a mutual friend he got with that girl a week after we broke up, so he didn't want to be with me anymore cause he wanted to get out there and explore. I kinda understand because we were each other first proper relationship, but how he acted and what he did hurt me a lot.

Nearly 2yrs later, he contacted me recently and asked for a second chance. He said he was stupid and he took me for granted. He still have a lot of feelings for me and want us to start fresh. i told him i can't trust him and still very mad for all the things he did but i'm willing to start off slow to get to know him again. But he seem to be very rush, he said he don't want to wait and if he feel its right we should start dating and not waste time, so we can move out next year and he was ready to settle down. He said he know i'm the one and he want a future with me. I told him to back down a bit, its too overwhelming at this stage.

We caught up once and that was nice, we were really happy and he couldn't wait to see me again. But when we tried to organise another catch up, we got into a small argument cause of the different in days that we were available. I got upset and feel like he still the same, doesn't really make an effort to see me, priorities other things before me, and him asking when I'm free was a lot of effort already, he said I was immature when we couldn't agree on a date. I ignored him for 3 days and he didn't bother to msg me either. When I finally msg him cause i was really upset, he said he don't think this will work and we're not compatible. He then said I am still the same and i was being immature and that he doesn't want an immature relationship. He say stuff like I already put a lot of effort in, you have to show some efforts too, it was as much of a second chance for you as it was for me, but you never see it that way. Then he would say hanging out with me is stressful, talking to me is a lot of work and it cause his anxiety to flare up. When i ask about that day we hangout and he was happy, was he stress too and he said to be honest yes I was stress as well. I ask what about what you said about wanting to be with me and can see a future together and all he said was, that was just words. Now he ignored all my msg and said he doesn't want to see me or talk to me ever again.

I guess what I'm asking is, if he wanted to see me or hangout then why didn't he msg me in those 3 days. Why give up just like that after coming back asking for a second chance. I was expect him to put more efforts and show he actually wanted this. It took a lot out of me when I decided to give him a second chance cause he hurt me a lot back then. I don't get why bother come back and say those stuff if you don't mean what you said. Was it just a game for him?

August 25, 2019, 12:31:34 AM
Reply #1


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