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Author Topic: Does he not think I am equal to him?

March 17, 2019, 07:23:23 PM
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I have been talking to a guy, we’re both from Pakistan so arranged marriages are very common in our culture.So we were introduced through families, and he actually lives in Pakistan in a small town and we video chat every day for the past month, I am not in a rush to get married and am still testing the waters to see how things go with him and of course to get to know him more, he is very interested in me about marriage and very serious as well…and he seems like a nice guy with good values. We have been talking for about a month.  But yesterday, we were speaking on the phone and he started talking about kids in the future and then he said that HE HAS ALREADY THOUGHT OF NAMES FOR THE KIDS and that that’s what we will name them. Now, to be honest I was a little offended by this, as the potential MOTHER of those future kids. And I did oppose this by asking him, doesn’t the mother have the right too? And he didn’t say much… I was in shock in the moment and still processing he said something like that. I mean he didn’t even consider that I would be their mother and that my opinion should matter.  Another thing, Pakistani men tend to believe that they are superior to women and that their opinions don’t matter, I am having the feeling that he might not treat me as an equal in any decision making after we get married. And husband and wife being equal is extremely important to me and most definitely the foundation of any marriage. So, now the question is what should I do or say to him? I really like him and don't want to let him go so easily but I also want to be practical and not make any wrong decision. Also I live in U.S.A and don't plan to move to Pakistan, he might migrate to the US if we get married... and to be honest I don't think this attitude of his will work in any first world country. Please advise on what I should do.. Thanks in advance! :)