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Author Topic: Disagreement and now silent treatment

December 19, 2019, 10:57:59 AM
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Blueeyes67


Hello all, this is my first post and I could really use some clarity and insight.  Back story, my boyfriend and I have been together just over 3 years. We love each other very much. I admit we have some communication issues. I’m a communicator and he’s not that great at it and he will admit that. Anyway, we had a disagreement last week. He tells me I can talk to him about anything. I have been expressing some frustrations at our workplace. Not frequently but once in a while.  We are coworkers. He has expressed some to me as well recently.  I attempted to explain my point of view on this one issue. He disagreed with me. That was ok. I told him we didn’t have to think the same way and it was ok to have different views. He then told me I was wrong for thinking the way I did. That completely hurt me. It shut me down and I felt like I can’t really talk to him about things that bother me. I just said. He made his point and it was well said. He said ok. We haven’t spoken in 6 days today. Was I out of line? I know I’m part of the silent treatment problem that is currently going on because I haven’t reached out either.  I feel like he owes me an apology. However I don’t think he feels he does. Hence the 6 days of no contact. Any advice is much appreciated.

December 19, 2019, 01:33:11 PM
Reply #1
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Sophie26


Men and women think differently. People in general do of course, but it is fairly clear with the 2 gender groups. So I agree with you that it is fine to view things differently.

That said, to some types of people it isn't, especially if they are a personality type that uses high degrees of logic to form their views. Most people tend to use a wide range of inputs to influence their thinking on a subject, but with the logical types, they find it difficult to ignore logic...

Anyways, went on a bit with that, without knowing the disagreement.

The silent treatment. I would suggest you swallow the pride part of you that has seen you hold out for 6 days. He probably won't. And once you get talking, the 6 day wait probably won't even be a concern anymore. You could even find that he feels bad, and gives you that apology, and he will be grateful you reached out. That is one scenario that could happen, among many others. The thing is, you won't know until you reach out. Don't let pride deprive you of finding out.

Best of luck! x

December 19, 2019, 02:17:12 PM
Reply #2
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Blueeyes67


Thank you Sophie for your advice. I didn’t think I was being prideful but maybe I am. I feel hurt more than anything. I am usually the one who reaches out first when we have disagreements or arguments. That gets old. Plus, I’m a little worried that if I do, he will want to end the relationship

 

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