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Author Topic: Confusing Behavior

March 19, 2019, 08:36:28 PM
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SavvyMoura


I went on my first date post divorce! It actually went so much better than I was expecting. So I matched with the guy on a dating app on Feb 21st and we went out March 10th just for reference. Like honestly on the dating app, I wasn't even paying any attention him and we would have short convos daily that weren't super long or anything. However, after going down this road a few times, I'm at the point where it's like ok, it's been two weekends now, when are we going to meet? So Saturday I mentioned I might have some free time later that day and he said, we probably should meet up for coffee or something soon. So he asked me out for the next day. Anyway, the day of in the morning he snapped me a pic of a book at half priced books. I was like you went to half price without me?! So we met there instead. We went and got coffee, looked around and talked. He mentioned having an embarrassing tattoo on his chest that I would see eventually. He talked about his mom and showed me her pic and how his dad had died, etc. Before this date too, in messages he had told me how he was engaged and a bit about why it didn't work out. That he hasn't really dated since then (2017). Anyway, then he randomly goes do you want to go get lunch (not part of the plan)? So we go to his car and he has to move things out of his passenger seat for me to get in lmao so clearly did not plan for this. We went to this burger place and he paid for my food. While we were eating he asked if I wanted to go to the mall to walk around because he likes to walk after a big meal. So he drove us there and we did that. Forgot to mention that he also brought up kids on this date.  He also asked how my dating life has been going. I asked him how his was going and he said a lot of people who like him aren't his type (it's like...so am I your type?) He drove me to my car and he kinda looked at me like he wanted to kiss me, but I just looked in my purse for my keys LOL anyway so he asked if it would be weird to ask for a hug and I said no, so we hugged and he said it was nice to meet me and to text him when I got home. Date was almost 3 hours.  I did text him when I got home and he thanked me for coming out and said he had fun. I said yeah I had a great time. 

Now, if I had never heard from this boy, I would not be hear writing you a novel 😂😂 Like I was so focused on him not totally hating me that I was not really flirtatious or anything. He was a total gentleman and held the door open for me, etc. Like literally it was the best first date back out there I could've hoped for honestly.

Now onto why I need advice 😂 So I totally didn't expect to hear from that guy and hadn't even analyzed the date or anything. But then he messaged me the next day. We had a short, but good convo and I was left on read. Next day I message him, good but short convo, I'm left on read. So then I decide to not contact him and see what happens...nothing. So I end up messaging him again, same pattern. It's really confusing because it's not like he's giving me short answers or anything. The quality of the convos are good, just short. This is where my confusion continues, because looking back, it was a really good date.  I also feel like him talking to me, means he's interested in me, but then why the short convos? why am I always starting it? I know I wasn't really clear on my interest on the date either so I didn't know if that's what that was? So finally on Friday to Saturday we had talked for almost 24 hours. It was still me reaching out to him first though. I asked about his weekend (busy) and he asked about mine. So to stop the madness of this whole is he into thing, I just said something like, "Hey if you want to hang out again, just let me know and we can work something out." He opened it and didn't reply for 30 mins. He finally said, "Sounds good! I'll let you know. Things will be less hectic once I get my new job." Now on the date, he seemed like a direct person, but that whole week of weird communication had me thinking this is him blowing me off. He was looking for a new job when we first started talking, but at the same time he didn't have to say he'd let me know. It's confusing. I did however go back through our dating app talks and that's the way we've always talked, I just didn't care because I wasn't into him. However we would switch off who started the convo. 

So anyway, that was Saturday. today I thought well, if nothing else I wouldn't mind being friends with him. He seemed like a cool person and I want to meet new people anyway. So I send him a message and we talked for 7 hours today like nothing had happened at all! He told me he should hear if he got this job he really wanted today or tomorrow. I thought that was interesting because it's like did you mess up by telling me that or are you saying soon you will have more time or? Anyways in the end, I was left on read again. I'm just very confused honestly lol like he is older, 7 year difference, has a lot of hobbies, and like I said, in person he was no nonsense. If he was giving me short answers or ignoring me all together, the message would be clear. I'm just so confused honestly. Is he just not that into me?

April 10, 2019, 10:23:11 PM
Reply #1
Offline

OhMy29


Hey!
I would be confused as well 🙄 I wouldn’t text him anymore first. I allow him message or call me first. That way, you can see if he’s being serious or just wasting your time.

 

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