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Author Topic: Confused over a break up and new love.

December 04, 2019, 02:50:03 PM
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Confused94


Earlier this year I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. He is a young entrepreneur and although I was always supportive of it I eventually had to end things as he struggled to find time to spend with me (Eg: leaving me waiting at a restaurant for 3 hours for him to arrive). He also used to always take his frustration and exhaustion from work out on me, and although he would always apologize it eventually took its toll on me. I ended things not because I didn’t love him and want to be with him but rather so that he could pursue his career and have the time to focus on it. So that he would no longer have to feel guilty for letting me down, treating me badly or the pressure that came with the relationship. I tried very hard to make things work, I was always understanding, patient, kind, forgiving, and understanding. I wanted him to have the freedom so that he could come back to me.

However, a couple of months later I met this truly amazing guy who adores me and treats me like absolute gold. We are inseparable and go together like Nutella on toast. He really is amazing and I feel extremely lucky to have found him. I decided not to tell my ex about this new relationship as I didn’t want to upset him or to think I had just carelessly moved on…..
We have stayed in contact since the breakup but communication had lessened over the last few months.
I recently found out via facebook (How great) that he has entered into a new relationship.
I am distraught.
The selflessness it took to break up with him was unbearable... (I cried solidly for 4 months until I met my current boyfriend).
Why didn't he come back to me? I made it clear that I still wanted to be with him when we broke up and what my reasons for us breaking up were. If he had all this newfound time to pursue a relationship why not come back to me?
All my love, patience, understanding and kindness have been taken for granted and just thrown into the trash. 
Also I have a new boyfriend who I love ... why am I so upset?
I just don't understand why he would want to throw away our relationship and everything we had for something new.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2019, 02:54:48 PM by Confused94 »

December 05, 2019, 04:39:38 AM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


I think you could be upset for possibly 2 reasons.

1) You still have some feelings for your Ex. That is normal as one tends to reflect on the good times together. Some of these will always stay with you , its normal

2) You never really got closure . He just decided to shack up with someone else without telling you . Its not the done thing .

So try and put these behind you and move on in your new relationship . It sounds like this guy ticks more boxes with you and I think you should concentrate and focus your energies on this relationship .

Good luck

March 07, 2020, 01:08:48 AM
Reply #2
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samsome369


hi gal, I was in your shoes before. and here's an article that really helped me when I was struggling at the bottom.
I hope it could give you some enlightenment and inspiration like it helped me  :)

http://back.ly/Ay4dc

wish you have a great future with your loved one.

March 09, 2020, 12:38:28 AM
Reply #3
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blabla


I think it’s normal to feel upset finding that out after a long time relationship. Just allow those feelings to exist without getting in the way of what you’ve found with new guy.
If they continue for an extended period then perhaps the new guy isn’t right but go with the flow!

 

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