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Author Topic: Confused and looking for advice - is it me?

August 02, 2020, 12:13:12 PM
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I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. He's always got stuff to do and seldom has time to spend with me except to pick me up just before bed time to spend the night at his place.

I catch him lying all the time (because he changes his story multiple times in general conversation). He's also been busy many Friday nights and weekend days. These things made me suspicious that maybe there is someone else still without any evidence of that...I dismissed the thought.

A few months ago, he was anxious in the morning. He received 2 phone calls that he answered in the other room and kept very brief. Then he said he had to take me home because he had stuff to do. That day, I caught him spendine time with another woman, for confidentiality let's just call her Jackie. When I confronted him, he said it was just a friend. I said if that's the case why did you lie to me and hide the fact that you two were going to spend time together today? He kept to his story that it was just a friend and never could explain why he lied. He said they'd tried dating 17 years ago and that didn't work out so they've been friends ever since.

Later he was trying to reassure me I was the only one and that she is a friend with no benefits for 17 years now and he began talking about her flaws including some intimate cosmetic work that was poorly done. I said if you are truly only friends then how do you know what that part of her looks like? He said well she got the surgery 10 years ago.

4 weeks ago, I asked him to spend time with me on a Saturday afternoon and he said he was busy and had stuff to do. Later I found out he went to lunch and spent time with Jackie during that very same time in which he told me he had stuff to do.

Then last week, there was a card sitting open on his kitchen counter with gift cards to a place to eat in it and the card read "... To take Jackie on a date or not. :-) "

When I asked him about the card, he said it was from his boss and that the card was 2 years old and he can't help what other people write.

Then just 2 days ago, I was looking for some Neosporin in the bathroom and instead I found a drawer that contained a purple wash cloth with a woman's toothbrush sitting on it. When I asked him about this he said he didn't have any idea about any such wash cloth or toothbrush in his house. He still denies knowledge of its existence though it most certainly does exist.

So if you follow the timeline...it flips from 17 years ago...to 10 years ago...to 2 years ago and a mystery women's wash cloth and toothbrush that are in his home as we speak that he has no knowledge of.

I also caught him lieing about a month ago about what he did that day. A definite proven lie...though I can't be sure Jackie was involved or not.

I'm really confused. He says it is all me...that I'm too insecure.

August 06, 2020, 05:55:01 PM
Reply #1



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