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Author Topic: Cheating or not help please

February 24, 2020, 04:49:06 PM
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Hi I have been with my partner for 10 months. We at the beginning were very full on staying with each other all the time and as we worked together too were incredibly close.
He got a new job in November and so we work similar hours but we are drifting and I'm certain it's down to him cheating.
We had a small wobble in January were we argued a bit both as bad as each other I think a bit short of cash and January blues.

So now we get to two weeks ago we have gone from spending 5 nights a week together to two with me asking him to stay over and always a no need space.

Two weeks ago on Monday and a Tuesday he made a excuse oh can't see you Monday I'm having dinner with my mum and sister (I was not invited) wouldn't speak to me on the phone in the evening and blamed a bad Chinese then on the Tuesday he then said oh I'm going round Kevin's and again would not speak to me but kept in contact via text. The following Monday and Tuesday again excuses going to watch the football with Kevin and going to visit the following day my mate Paul he actually sent me a photo of Paul to say I'm with Paul. We get to this Monday oh I'm watching the football but I will see you Tuesday but definitely can't see you Wednesday this week again round to Kevin, this Kevin has never been mentioned before and all of a sudden his round once a week apparently he will not answer the phone when at Kevin's as its rude too.

I've begged him regarding coming clean and letting me go if you have found someone else then just let me go. All I have been told its in my head I just need space.

He has made plans with me for much later in the year and in a few weeks time, which makes me think is it just me but doubtful.

I really am driving myself insane and I'm not going to go like a mad woman and sit outside his house to check on him I think i already know the answer I'm just asking for opinions on here as we overall have joint friends so could get tricky there.

Any advice greatly appreciated. And I will add we aren't kids we are both in our late 30s. But I will finally add i have been cheated on in the past and so with a change in behaviour immediately I've gone to him cheating rather than any other explanation.

February 25, 2020, 08:42:21 PM
Reply #1


He is doing a lot of strange things, but I think before calling him out you should do some investigating. If you have Kevin's phone number or other ways of contacting him, ask him if your partner is actually there when he says he is. If Kevin says he is but you're still skeptical, try his mother and sister because I don't think they would lie to you as a best friend might. If he really isn't cheating though and is just distant, this might not be the best relationship anymore, and you might need to just call it off. If he's not giving you the time and attention you deserve it's just not worth it. A relationship is supposed to be mutually beneficial, and this just doesn't sound like it is anymore. I'm really sorry for what you're going through, and I hope you can find a way to work it out! <3


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