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Author Topic: Chatting with a Japanese guy.

January 31, 2019, 01:51:35 PM
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Kiva_


So, I have been chatting with him for more than 2 months, for nearly every day.
He is being weird latly. He was depressed for a while because no one loves him that was for 2 weeks I tried to tell him that I liked him and care about him but he said I was too far.
We still have on average 3 or 4 times a week. Then he stopped so I told him ”are you ignoring me or avoiding me” he replied with a different topic and we chatted than at the end to tell him thank you for chatting again. He said  ” im fine as long as you dont bother me. ” I asked him what did I do to bother you. He said ”Considering your age, you should notice it by yourself 😗”. (???)
I told him to explain to me
 in the end, he blocked me on LINE.
I felt so guilty to end our chat like that so I messaged him on another app that we used before telling him that I am sorry and hope him a happy Life. ( thinking that he will not reply)
He said he understands and it is ok.
I asked him can you be friends again. He told me that he blocked me and I can follow his Instagram account.
I told him ”will I ever be unblocked and I will not message him not even once a week” so he unblocked me And messaged me. Then I added him on my Instagram and he added me.
I don't understand if he doesn't want to talk why would be unblocked me. Or what is his problem? I like him and want to let him knows that I want to be more than a friend. Because I told him I am your friend he said I guess you are my friend. If I bother him why would he reply to my messages?
HELP.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2019, 11:35:29 PM by Kiva_ »

February 02, 2019, 01:53:30 AM
Reply #1
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Broken4now


I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  I don't know his age or the difference but he should be honest with you instead of just blocking and ignoring.  For the life of me, I don't understand why men can't talk about things instead of hiding from the truth.

I'm here for advice so not sure I'm the best to answer but maybe he knows the distance is just too much and it couldn't go anywhere.  Personally, I would back off and hopefully he will miss the communication and reach out to you.  If I have learned anything from all my online searching to try to help myself....it's the rubber band theory.  It  implies that when a man withdraws and we keep pushing, they pull back further.  Believe me, it's easier said than done.

I hope you find peace and happiness.  This dating thing isn't for the weak!

February 03, 2019, 01:28:11 AM
Reply #2
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winstonjack


Hmmm, different culture different games. It sounds like his mood and/or depression is severe enough to cause sporadic behavior. Hence, his sporadic game playing. Not sure how long you can hang in there but having to walk every word you write or say on egg shells may eventually be too much no matter how much you want to be friends.

February 07, 2019, 02:33:44 PM
Reply #3
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Samnjess8695


Sounds like a brooding egomaniac, oddly not to sound horrible but the culture of the Japanese makes this fairly common.  The Japanese do not respect anything but Japanese and see others as lower especially women.  He most likely saw how you were and you were his stress all and threw you away when he was done.  Unless you can become a Japanese man he wont respect you and you should take this as a relief and chance to look in other directions.