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Author Topic: Boyfriend wants a break due to mental health reasons, I need advice

February 16, 2019, 04:20:50 PM
Read 1284 times


My boyfriend asked for a break a few days ago saying it was for mental health reasons. He's been depressed for years and has been stressed with work and his family life.  He also said he wanted me to focus on myself more because he feels its affecting my mental health too. He said he still wants to talk the same amount and see each other the same amount as we do but he just wants to put romantic feelings on hold. I'm confused because it doesn't sound like a break, I've asked him if I should just give him space and not contact him because it's a break, he said he didn't want that. He was upset about asking for the break and didn't want me to resent him and he didn't want me to think it was entirely over. He still wanted to see me on Valentine's day even though I told him it wasn't the best idea since he wanted a break. He insisted, so I ended up seeing him and we talked and he still thought the break was the best idea for him. He said he still had feelings for me but said if he focuses on them too much that he won't focus on himself, which I understand. I want him to get better, he made a comment saying he had more hope of us getting back together than him getting better. He also seemed less sad this time when I saw him, I'm not sure if he was confident in his decision or just hiding his feelings because he hasn't been up front with his feelings before. He also ended up kissing me multiple times that  night even though I told him it wasn't a good idea, he said he just missed doing it. I love him and want him to get better. I'm probably taking this break harder than I should, I've cried over it multiple times and he seems to be doing fine. I just don't know what to do about and how to talk to him about it. He feels bad when I tell him I love him because he said its been hard to express any emotions, I told him I don't expect him to say it back because I know he's going through a lot. I just tell him it so he knows I still care and that I 'm here for him no matter what. I just don't know if I should cut off contact or still message him even though he still wants to talk and see each other. I'm just at a loss and i'm confused. Has anyone had anything similar or be able to get back together from a break. Any advice would be helpful.. Thank you

March 09, 2019, 05:36:46 PM
Reply #1


Girl, i've been in a similar situation... i think you should confront him about what you are feeling, because your feelings are also important. You are both important and not only him... you should tell him that is not fair to you. You cant keep living without knowing what he wants for him and for both of you. You can tell him you will always support him but you cant be in a relationship where you dont know what you are for him. Be honest with him about what you feel.
In my case, i told him what i was feeling and we decided to break up definitely. One month later he had a new girlfriend and was much happier than when he was with me. Im not saying your boyfrien would do that. Im just telling you this because i needed to move on with my life and was always exhausted with the situation. And so i did. :)

April 03, 2019, 08:40:25 AM
Reply #2

Lily Etoilé

I think (from what I’ve understood) that he just wanted to focus less on romantic feelings to focus on his hard feelings to get better but I guess he finds it difficult to do a real break in your relationship. I think if you cut contact with him, he won’t get better, maybe even worst but take care of him and if you don’t understand what he really wants, talk to him about it! I wish things to get better for you both! And I’m sorry if my reply may not be really interesting but hope it could have helped a bit


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