First time on here   but I known
 something has got to change n that starts with one self.. so here I am...It's almost as though I'm in the midst of mid life crisis? maybe? I seem to have so many issues in my life right now and I'm unsure where to start. I do believe  what I'm goin thru is a compounding variety of things that have taken place or changes in my life over the last 8 months or so...I cannot say this with enuf seriousness.... I'm a wreck! emotionally n I have nobody to help me thru it and no one to listen or be supportive...I'm possibly seeking clarification and maybe some other perspectives or how bout possibly confirmation from a enough people that I'm not crazy may ease my anxiety in second guessing myself all thebtime... and maybe validate my feelings..and give it to me straight sparing no feelings cuz I gotta hear it from someone other than the man I love which doesn't  even talk to me really anymore moreless have a friendship  with me for no reason I can think of other than he doesn't
feel the same? there is someone else besides my bf...he doesn't open up to me so I'm always playing the guessing game which isn't good cuz I tend to think the worst about everything anymore  I m always sad n down in the dumps cuz I m unable to resolve or seek support in him cuz he gets mad n he is tired of me talking about relationship issues I'm having as if I'm attacking him I'm not but there r reasons valid reasons I feel the way I do...and to him he just doesn't seem to care is how I see it...he says one word comebacks to such accusations like him not loving me anymore or just doesn't care. he says things like... that's not true...seriously? and that will be that the end of that conversation... if I try n force it any further he will leave walk away get angry n then not talk to me for days ignores me doesn't sleep next to me in bed sleeps on couch doesn't call or text me anymore during the day like he used to ..I haven't seen any signs of infedelity..so I don't know what to do but it hurts n he doesn't get that nor validate it does not give me comfort when I need it NOTHING LIKE HE IA NUMB TO ME DEAD STARES at his phone most the time playing games than he does looking at me everyday from moment he gets home till he falls s
asleep on couch no kisses really..no intimacy I'm going crazy...I don't want to assume the worst or ask wrong question or too much n drive him crazy or mad but what gives I don't know what to do I've been open how all this makes me feel or affects me and he does nothing to help fix or make me feel better he just stays silent withdrawals..at this point I'm just asking for a "get out" 
for many  different  reasons...I' not crazy or wrong  .etc I'm so lost n sad n falling apart so that's my introduction ..I m losing the love of my life so I'm feeling anyhow  I'm becoming callused in ways I know where this leads these things happening in my relationship he is impossible n helps me not!!! I feel he is giving me no options or course of action  other than to leave him! n I haven't been Able to do that as of yet although I've threatened I've made failed attempts n it's like he doesn't believe I'll go now or he cares not so I should just get stronger n walk away .. as in he deserves that if he won't b reasonable n help us through our troubles n I don't know where to start with it....but I will say that I'm crying All the time..so very hurt n sad n he just shows no care in the world no compassion comfort validation it's like who is this guy I'm really unable to ever relax n settle down cuz it's like I'm in someone else's life...in last 8 months it's been like this...

we have been together officially since end of 2009 started living together jan..2010 but we have a history quite long...I met him in kindergarten he lived on the street just behind me we played everyday after school and he was my first bf and my first kiss ..we lost connection around jr.high...we just went our separate ways..he popped back around me from time to time in high school still trying to capture my heart and I never gave him a chance  we then didn't speak until 2009..we had a 26_30 yr gap of no contact had different lives n one day I decided to check out this FB social network all my friends were talking about ..I was just at the tail end of a 7 yr relationship that ended peacefully n mutually so I opened my FB acct n the first message I got less than a day into the acct was from my bf...we met up shared some long evenings n then we've been together ever since...sorry for the long story but it's significant to me...for alot of reasons...n why he is this way with me? idk..I really don't know if I did I would have it figured out ..I stopped trying to find out cuz he gets angry thinking I'm lecturing or interrogating it s every thing I do anymore he is there for everyone but me..he is numb distant silent I don't know what the hell is going on but I'm very sad neglected n alone lonely n it's painful n I can't n don't have to go thru this n not even get an explanation why or what can I do to fix it....I get nothing..but ignored...unsupported if we communicate itds always ends in a fight ..I'm seriously so depressed n lost over it all I go see a counselor on 29 the cuz like I said the change is needed whatever it may be...but the hurting ive got to get help with n get a grip I'm so alone with litterally nobody to talk to n he was my world n he has emotionally and physically abandoned me...unavailable but live in same place..it's so hurtful..