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Author Topic: Am I making a mistake

January 24, 2020, 12:41:32 PM
Read 658 times


I’ve been reading through the forum looking for reason or rhyme. I just ended a relationship with an older man, we were together for almost 2 years. But since the day I met him he told me about a young woman who was 27, (my bf was 67) who he met, asked if she had a bf she said it was complicated, he asked her if she liked to travel, she said yes and he took her on vacation. He made a point of telling me that she was a “model” but that there was no attraction to her. The way he put it he "never got an erection around her. " I'm not so sure that means he wasn't attracted to her. The first time I went to his home I found out he has a poster sized picture of her on his bedroom wall. I decided that maybe he thought it was just a pretty picture and pushed it aside. One day he lent me his laptop and there she was on his wallpaper and on the shelf with his family photos is her again.

I love him and I’m trying to understand. He tells me he loves me but would like me to lose weight for both health reasons and because that’s what he wants. It makes me feel like he wants me to be something else and I can't help but feeling like I will never measure up.

He talks about traveling with me but insist he wants me in a bikini. Over the holidays she called and my curiosity took over and I went through his phone I found out he receives nude photos from her. When I questioned him, he said she was a model and they were from her photo shoots. But there wasn’t just one there were a dozen, after reading through her text I find him saying things like he misses her, wishes she were there and that her name was the most beautiful name he could think of. He sent us the same piece of jewelry with our names on it.
It cut deeply. I KNOW nothing sexual has gone on between the two but his obsession with her bothers me.

He isn’t a bad man, he treats me well but when I asked him to tell her he has a girlfriend he says she knows he is seeing someone special, but I don't believe him. I also don’t believe she sends those pictures to all her male friends especially if they are in a relationship but maybe she does. I am hoping not. I mean if she is a model then she must have a website, can’t he just see them there? Does he have to have her send them directly?
I told him that I knew myself and that this would never be okay with me. He said I don’t control him, that he didn't do ultimatums and that I was being insecure. I’m not saying don’t be her friend but come on…maybe it’s me. If it is please tell me before I make a mistake.

FYI my gut tells me it may just be him trying to stay significant in her world as she has moved away and has a boyfriend again  and that it could be possible she sent one or two but that maybe he downloaded the rest from somewhere, if so that’s just creepy.

Any advice is welcome .
« Last Edit: January 24, 2020, 01:02:17 PM by peecy »

January 26, 2020, 08:00:19 AM
Reply #1


Beauty starts from within. You are beautiful and as long as you know that and love yourself, if your weight doesn't bother you, than what he says is irrelevant. He doesn't control you either. Even if she is just a model to be so into her is disrespectful to you despite his good gestures. His attention should be on you if he loves you the way he claims he does. This good read helped me rejuvenate my love for myself and eventually the love for my new fiance' http://tinyurl.com/her12sweetwords Hope it helps  :)


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