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Author Topic: Am I a PSYCHO?!

June 21, 2019, 02:15:56 PM
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xxnvshenxx


Sorry I catfish-ed you with the title (I sure hope it did) but I need help with this crazy problem I have.

I'm in a relationship with this guy I've known since high school and we were great friends and now we have been together for 2 years. He is a really sweet guy, doesn't flirt around, super loyal and I know he wouldn't cheat on me. BUT he is very equally nice to everyone, for example he helps out his female friends and are willing to go an extra mile for friends which makes me feel uncomfortable.

The problem started out when I started catching myself throwing tantrums when he makes plans with friends, I try to make him cancel plans by setting dates on the same day or by trying to make him feel guilty for going out with friends. He has a few group of friends, some which I know personally (from the same high school) and some who I don't know (he met them in college). When he goes out with the friends I don't really know, I find myself hating it. We got into a lot of arguments about him hanging out with friends, I try to promise him that I'll stop getting angry but I still find myself getting upset and grumpy (it spoils my mood the whole day).

So he plays the guitar. He would have a girl singer go over to his house to practice for a gig or he would go over to her house. I go crazy over the fact he's alone with another girl but he insists he is just doing what he likes (performing) and he isn't cheating on me (and yes he isn't cheating on me, I 100% know for sure)

All these arguments led to him feeling reluctant to tell me he has plans with friends and he'll avoid telling me things, until I interrogate him or find out through other means. He tends to white lie about stuff and plans he made with friends to avoid getting into arguments with me. I'm guessing we are both at fault that it had came to a point where we can share our thoughts and feelings.

In conclusion, do you think I'm psychotic for acting this way? I understand that I'm being unreasonable but I just can't help it. Please help talk some sense into me.

xoxo

June 22, 2019, 08:28:07 AM
Reply #1
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Grower


Psycho, probably not, but you are working hard on pushing your boyfriend away.
Why are you not part of the activities he has with his friends. Not that he shouldn't
be able to do things without you, but you shouldn't be excluded and should probably
meet his friends since, you and he are such good friends. Love and trust go hand in hand.
If you really believe what you wrote, grow up before you get dumped. Sorry didn't
mean to be harsh, but good guys/gals are hard to find. Good luck

July 29, 2019, 11:04:48 AM
Reply #2
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bow24


agree with Grower
I think a strong relationship is like a table and each leg supports it, trust, communication, honesty,& respect. if you can get those four things right i think you’ll be fine, and if he does cheat on you then that’s his mistake and you remove yourself . but sounds like he is an honest guy,  you need to respect him as a person, he is allowed to have friends. you will poison your connection if you try to control someone, a partnership should be equal

July 29, 2019, 03:11:34 PM
Reply #3
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Confused100


You are absolutely not a psycho, and I totally get where you are coming from. You remind me a bit of my younger self, I totally relate to the feeling of just not being able to let it go. It all stems from insecurity. Now as an older and hopefully wiser person I’m here to tell you to stop it! You said he’s not cheating so relax. It won’t do anyone any good. You are achieving nothing but potentially pushing someone you love away. Try to accept that he wants to be with you, and if he didn’t then it wouldn’t work anyway.

August 02, 2019, 11:46:19 PM
Reply #4
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chrishen


I understand where you are coming from. Someone you care about alone with someone of the opposite sex can make you feel uncomfortable.

The thing is you are worrying about things you can't control. At the beginning of the post you said "I know he'd never cheat," which is a good place to be at.

At the end of the day, other people are going to do what they're going to do. It's the risk you run when deciding you want to be with someone. Like a football player risks blowing his knees out every game. He still choose to play knowing the risks.

I would try to let go of it all. With anything in life, the things you have no control over should be also in your "dont stress about" list. Also, your manipulation of dating him and guilt tripping him will only push someone further into becoming distant. Putting pressure on anything eventually causes a reaction.

August 03, 2019, 12:19:05 AM
Reply #5
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emybooy


ok the solution is in this video, after watching you will know what to do

https://dausel.co/SYqMva
https://dausel.co/YVyh7W

August 03, 2019, 12:40:37 AM
Reply #6
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AshleyTuong


Oh I know that feeling hard to bear. But you got a great and loyal boyfriend. So I think you should let he know how do you feel and maybe you can join in his activites, be friend with his friend and enjoy the happy like he has been. Then later gradually you will feel better and get closer to him. Wish you guy good time together

When there is life there is hope