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Author Topic: a partner who is lying and trash-talking

December 28, 2019, 12:05:14 PM
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Brokentrust


My partner and I have made an agreement that he will talk to me when/if he uses porn. We set this up because he previously had an addiction problem and was hiding and sneaking around which made me feel really uncomfortable. In addition, he blamed the snaking around on me because he felt he could not talk to me, which was not the case at all - he just had never tried. I feel he is a coward and am loosing respect for him for this reason. Also, he uses our family and his friends to trash talk me quite a bit. I asked him why he is not talking to me instead - he answers that he just needs someone to vent with. However, what he is doing is pure thrash-talk to make fun of me etc. I have heard him making impressions of me and they are quite nasty. I feel like leaving him but I am not sure how to take the first step and I am afraid I will regret it - we do have good times too... What is your advice?  How do I leave him? And how do I know I am ready to leave?

December 30, 2019, 01:12:26 AM
Reply #1
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puppy_kong252


honestly, the moment someone starts talking nasty behind your back is the moment i think the relationship has entered a very dangerous level. everyone has their ups and downs, sure. but to trash talk someone they promised to talk to, love, and cherish shows a lot about who they are as a person. if you genuinely think this isnt him, i would say confront him directly about it and tell him EXACTLY how what hes doing is shitty. if there are members of his family you feel would be helpful, i would confide in them as well. but dont ever let yourself slip into talking badly about him. that will only start a cycle of anger and resentment.
in my honest opinion though, as someone from the outside with only a limited view on this situation, i would say leave him. especially if you dont have any assets with him.

 

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