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Author Topic: Wife Ruining Our Marriage and I Want to Cut her Loose

December 29, 2019, 02:37:23 AM
Read 679 times


This year has got to be the toughest year in my 4-year marriage.

I love my wife dearly, but she has these periodic black moods, especially this year. During those moods (as I call them) she will insult me, tell me what an excuse of a man I am, and pack and leave.

When in her moods am on constant alert. In the past wifey has destroyed household stuff, broken two of my laptops, held a knife to me, threatened to kill our children, and threatened to leave me, and she actually does. While telling me how much she hates me. I have gone after her about three times this year and forgave her after she asked for forgiveness, I also had an intervention organized with me and her closest friend.

When asked what's going on, wife says she doesn't know what gets into her. That she just can't explain it. During her moods she has called other men before, one time she made sure I overheard them talking, and she told the man on the other side that she missed him. Wifey later apologized and promised it would never happen again, and when she gets in the moods she will just keep quiet without the drama, but I was getting tired.

On Christmas day she woke up with the moods, after the usual insults, she packed clothes for the kids and herself, and I don't know where they are. Am tired of chasing her like some lost puppy; so, I haven't called her, and she hasn't called me.

This time am done chasing after her, her tantrums and the life she's putting my two kids through. If she ever dares to come back, I want to ask for a divorce.

I don't know what else to do for my sanity.

December 30, 2019, 05:20:33 PM
Reply #1


I think you are making the right decision, particularly if you can get your children away from your wife.  What she is trying to do is exercise control over you to get you to cave. Reasonable people who love each other don’t resort to these actions.
She is effectively using your children as weapons against you.

My wife did similar things to me, but no children involved. The advice I got at the time is make sure you document what you can, report it to the police as it will help you in any court or divorce proceedings. Make that report.

Make sure you join a help group as well (men’s shed or similar) or seek counselling and a friend who you can confide in. You will be needing both the emotional and professional support. It won’t be easy, but be strong.

December 31, 2019, 10:26:39 AM
Reply #2


I definitely only have the high-level details here, but if she really did hold a knife to you and threatened to kill your children as you said, there's no excuse for that. I don't know you and I don't know if there's something you're leaving out that makes her so angry--and that's not me saying I think there is or that her response is appropriate, I'm just covering my bases here--but the bottom line is that your children don't deserve this.

December 31, 2019, 10:49:21 AM
Reply #3


Seems like you are making the right move to not chase her down anymore.  Wonder if she is bi-polar or has some other legit mental health issue.  In any case, I would leave her too. You've done everything that can be asked.


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