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Author Topic: What did I do wrong?

July 01, 2019, 01:24:53 PM
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Concerned Chap


Hello all,

Some backround. I am happily engaged with a great lass. Due to marry in September. Though a rather trivial event occured, which seems to have created a storm. And I feel bewildered by it all.

So, I have this close female friend. Been pals for 15 years. I have been with my girl for 4 years. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing sexual has ever occured between my friend and me. Yes, if we were both single, crashing at each other's places occured at times. Though always seperate rooms and underwear remained on etc. Now with my lass, staying over at my friends has obviously stopped.

For clarity my fiancee's name is Emma. My friend is Laura.

So, last Friday I had arranged drinks with Laura after work at the local bar near hers. Emma was going to join us later after she had finished work. Its 2 bus journey's from my work to Laura's place. Well, this Friday I arrived earlier than normal due to the buses running off schdule. I buzzed her flat, and Laura let me in. When she opened the door, she was wrapped in a big towel from under her arms, down to her shins, her shoulders wet. Just come out of the shower clearly. I offered to wait outside but she was having none of it. Said she will get us a beer then get changed in her room.

So general chit-chat as I take a seat. Laura heads into the open plan kitchen while telling me about her work. She bends at the knees to get 2 beers out the fridge. Still talking to me. She stood and started to walk towards me, beers in hands. The towel got trapped under her standing foot. She stumbled forward, nearly falling. She had burst out of her towel, and nearly fell but managed to gather her footing and stay standing. Obviously this had the effect of causing parts of her body to jiggle (she is a D cup). And then when she had composed herself and stood up straight, I had a clear view of her full frontal nudity. I will confess, she is a sight to see. An attractive girl, and I muttered something like "damn Laura".

Once she had composed herself, and realised she was completely exposed to me, she instinctively tried to cover with her hands, banging the beers together. Realising her hands were full, she looked confused, almost 'deer in the headlights' type thing. She stared into my eyes and walked toward me. I held eye contact, though was difficult considering she was naked. Then she held out my beer. I took it. She quickly turned around. Placed her beer on the coffee table, then ran into her bedroom crying and slammed the door.

I gave her some time, then knocked on her door. She just told me to leave and go home. I tried to get her to come out so we could talk. I hated seeing her upset. But she was adamant that I leave. So I did.

When I got home I told my fiancee what happened. She didn't seem very happy either, and wanted to hear Laura's side of things. So she went into our bedroom and called her. They were on the phone for over an hour. Now my fiancee is pissed at me!

Apparently Laura feels violated. She see's me as a brother. And now is is struggling with the idea of seeing me again now I know what she looks like naked. Emma said that Laura said, I now know how she keeps her pubic hair, how her bare breasts move. Things that should be reserved for a lover, I now know.

Emma, well. She is equally upset that I know these things about Laura. Emma isn't upset with Laura because Laura is mortified at what happened. Emma is upset with me because I am showing no remorse. Yes, I have some concern with Laura is she is genuinely upset. But Emma is saying until I show genuine remorse for what I saw, I am relegated to the couch at nights.

What has happened here? What have I done wrong, seriously? I kinda understand a little bit about why Laura is upset, but over time she will get over it. She needs to. From my point of view, yes I enjoyed seeing her nudity, I cannot lie.I am a red-blooded man. And lets face it, there is so much nudity on the internet, she shouldn't really be holding a grudge over what happened.

And as for my fiancee Emma. We aren't on speaking terms. She is mad at me, and as a result of that, I am questioning what type of girl am I marrying. I find her being upset as totally unreasonable.

Would anyone mind letting me know what they think?

Cheers.

September 14, 2019, 03:46:56 PM
Reply #1
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Gem85


Personally I can see nothing wrong. A lot of men in your situation probably wouldn't of been so honest with their fiancee about what they saw. Theres probably been some underlying jealousy there for a while. Give her plenty of reassurance that shes the one you want to be with.
As for the friend, give her time. Shes just embarrassed. But whatever you do know your comic timing... no matter when it will always be too soon to joke about it!

September 17, 2019, 11:32:43 AM
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Jan


 :) I don't think you did anything wrong, you were open to your girlfriend and tried talking to Laura. The fact might be that Laura was a bit shocked by your response but it seems you were too, try explaining it to her again. You can also try to be emphatic to her side of the story since she might be embarrassed because you saw her naked and she doesn't know how to deal with that. Humor might be a good tactic, if you sense the context allows it. But since you go way back as buddies (emphasise again you're buddies ;-) I would think that could work. Good luck!

September 25, 2019, 01:46:47 PM
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Tibo87


Hi Concerned Chap,

Sorry to hear your situation.

If you did something wrong here (and I place myself on the women side here), is the fact that you actually looked at her and said what you said. If the friendship was really that strong, you should have turn your eyes away, and help her get composed by not looking at her (very difficult isn't it?).

What is done is done. What do you do know? Take control and own your masculinity. Talk to your friend, apologize, and say that it won't happen again, that you didn't want to make her embarrassed.

Same for your fiance. Tell her that on X day, at X time, you will have a clear conversation about what happened. Open communication there, when one talk, the other one listen (no interruption).

Again, start by apologizing, and rather than explaining yourself (which could trigger again arguments), say that you want to move on, that obviously it won't happen again, and that you were man enough to tell your fiancee (the proof that you didn't see anything wrong in the situation).

You didn't cheat. You were true to your fiancee. You love her. That is all that matters.

September 27, 2019, 03:43:10 AM
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cgomc23


It doesn't seem as if you did anything wrong, as a matter of fact, I commend you for being as honest as you were with your fiancee. However, I will say this. My first instinct, if I viewed this girl as a friend and a friend only, would've been to look away. If I was you, I'd simply apologize to your friend and make your intentions clear to her. As for your fiancee, I'd show that you realize why it upset her and tell her that you're sorry. You're in a difficult spot my friend, best of luck to you.

October 16, 2019, 08:49:56 PM
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Veronica


You did nothing, really. It was an accident and I hope Laura gets over it soon.

October 22, 2019, 09:21:35 PM
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jingle0010


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October 28, 2019, 10:01:27 PM
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ConfusedInLove


I agree with the others here. You didn't do anything wrong. Is it possible that your friend has a "thing" for you and that that is what upset her? Perhaps you would have been better to say nothing when the towel slipped, but we're all only human! I hope everyone gets over it.

December 02, 2019, 08:33:31 PM
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Sophie26


I know this is old, but felt the need to reply.

Something similar happened to me. And it hurt me emotionally. Some years ago when I was 19, I had just got my own flat. I had a close guy friend that I have known since I was 14. He had never tried anything on with me. He had his own gf. Like this Laura, I saw him as a brother type figure.

One day we were going to a water park. I was a bit nervous about a certain bikini I was considering wearing. It was a bit revealing. So when he came by to pick me up, I wanted his opinion on it. I knew he would be honest. So I took off my robe, and his eyes about popped out of his head. I laughed, and he smiled and said it showed a lot, and that isn't my usual style. Which is correct. So I decided I would wear my one piece suit. I went into my bedroom to change. I took off the bikini, and took out the one piece. As I was about to put it on before putting street clothes over it, I felt a presence in the door way. I looked up, and saw my friend watching me. His eyes were staring directly between my legs.

I felt hugely violated. How can someone you have trusted do this to you? I kicked him out and cut him out of my life. Perhaps I should have shut the door, but I seriously didn't expect him to walk over and watch me while I was naked.

You should not have done the same to Laura. If your eyes were wandering where my friends eyes were wandering, then you truly are no friend of hers. You should have looked away and showed her the respect she deserves.

December 03, 2019, 10:37:21 AM
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Marija


I understand you..please watch this video.helped me a lot
https://dausel.co/ievCpt

 

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